


Throw Cares Away

by aewriting



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: 12 Days of Malex 2020, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon compliant loss of limb, Car Accident (Near Miss), Christmas, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, M/M, Malex Secret Santa 2020, Peril, There Was Only One Pullout Couch, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewriting/pseuds/aewriting
Summary: When Michael and Alex decide to embark on a fake relationship to lessen the pressure of the holidays, neither bargained for the connections and complications that would ensue.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 412
Kudos: 251
Collections: 12 Days Of Malex 2020





	1. Gay Happy Meetings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prouvaireafterdark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvaireafterdark/gifts).



> This is my Malex Secret Santa fic for the wonderful prouvaireafterdark! I was so fortunate to receive some wonderful prompts, including this one: "Fake Relationship, Teen!Malex edition. I don't really care what the circumstances are that put them in this situation, but I'd love to see lots of casual intimacy and a touch-starved Michael or Alex soaking it up in spite of the fact that this is an arrangement. Also, mutual pining and UST (that maybe gets resolved at the end???) would be great."
> 
> So, I took a few liberties with the prompt. Michael and Alex are aged up, and this is definitely an AU (think, there is no Noah and Rosa never died). In a bit of an ode to prouvaireafterdark, Michael is actually Michael Sanders in this AU, and (spoiler alert) the UST will DEFINITELY get resolved, ha.
> 
> This is a multi-chapter work that I'll post day by day. Tags will be updated as I post.
> 
> Enjoy!

_December 11_

“Come on, man, do you not care about animals?”

That makes Michael put his beer down, turn in his seat. “What?”

The guy smirks, and Michael frowns. Dude’s been pestering him for the better part of an hour, can’t take a hint. “Horses, specifically. I’m trying to save them,” he says with a purposeful look.

Michael closes his eyes briefly, shakes his head. “Then you’re gonna need to find another cowboy to ride.”

The guy cocks his head. “Wait, are you the one who likes to do the riding? Cause if you are - “

“Hey, babe,” a voice says, close to Michael’s ear. Michael tenses, ready to react, as he feels a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry I’m late.”

Michael whips around, confused... only to make eye contact with, frankly, an insanely hot guy. Dark, tousled hair, well-built, about Michael’s height. They make eye contact and the guy casts a quick, questioning little look in the other guy’s direction, and Michael gets it.

Grins.

“Oh babe,” he says, emphasizing the endearment, “no worries. It’s all good.” He tilts his head up and gives the guy his best heart-eyes smile... And fuck if it doesn’t work, because dude’s suddenly biting his lip, dropping his gaze.

Interesting.

“You know,” a voice says, and it’s first guy. Doesn’t-know-when-to-quit guy. “You could have just told me you had a boyfriend,” he says testily before walking away.

_Boyfriend_? Michael thinks. _Boyfriend_? If this guy was actually his boyfriend, he wouldn’t be spending their time together in a bar when there were plenty of good, private, horizontal surfaces to explore elsewhere. Michael eyes the guy again, with his leather jacket, his tight jeans. Vertical surfaces would work, too. He’s not picky.

“ _Boyfriend_? Michael, this is your _boyfriend_?!”

And shit. It’s Isobel. The whole reason he’s here right now, in Albuquerque’s most popular gay bar.

“Hey, Iz,” he says as she sweeps him into a tight hug. Hot Guy backs up a little, and Michael gives him an apologetic little look.

Isobel releases him and looks from Michael to the hot guy and back. “Um, when were you going to tell me you were seeing someone?”

“Seeing someone?”

Michael turns in his chair to see the new person who’s just joined the conversation. It’s a woman, and she’s gorgeous, really. Dark hair, perfect skin, amazing figure.

She’s looking at Michael with curiosity while simultaneously drawing closer to Hot Guy. “Alex,” she says, and thank god for that, because now Michael has a name, “you didn’t tell me you had a new boyfriend!”

Alex eyes Michael a little sheepishly, and this is the moment, right? The moment they laugh and tell the story and explain the mixup and go their separate ways and never see each other again...

“Wait,” the new woman says suddenly, and her whole demeanor changes. Her eyes are narrowed, and she’s frowning a bit. “Isobel Evans?”

Isobel huffs a little laugh. “It is, once again, actually,” she says. She must see the other woman’s confusion because she elaborates. “Just divorced. Maria.”

The woman, Maria, arches an eyebrow. “So you remember?”

“Hard to forget the girl that ruined homecoming.”

Maria’s pissed now, hands on her hips. “My protest was the best thing about homecoming.”

“Wait, you protested homecoming?” Hot Guy, er, Alex asks, amused.

Maria turns to him. “I wasn’t protesting homecoming itself, but I did use it as a venue to demonstrate against animal cruelty.”

Isobel shakes her head. “Do you know how hard it is to get ketchup out of taffeta?”

“Ketchup?” Michael asks.

“It was meant to represent the innocent moose blood being spilled for sport.”

“Okay, okay,” Alex says, clearly trying to ease the tension. He looks at Isobel for a moment, seems to decide something. “Um, it’s obviously been a while, Isobel, but we actually went to middle school together too. Alex Manes?”

Michael watches as Isobel takes him in. Her eyes widen. “Oh my god, Alex. Yes.” She huffs a little, eyes Michael slyly. “Time has treated you well.”

Alex drops his head a bit, shakes it in an almost disbelieving sort of way. “In some respects.” He clears his throat. “Listen, I’m gonna use the bathroom. I’ll be back in a second.”

“I need to go, too,” Michael says quickly.

Maria gives Alex a little smile, at that. “Behave yourselves.”

“Maria,” Alex hisses.

“What? You know how many bar hookups I’ve seen?”

Alex must see Michael’s expression, reacts quickly. “She owns a bar.”

Isobel looks at her, maybe mildly impressed. “The Pony?” Maria nods. “You own it?”

“You seem surprised.”

“Well...”

Michael figures it’s a good time to leave, follows Alex to the bathroom. Maybe checks out his ass on the way. Maybe imagines what it looks like out of those jeans.

As soon as the door to the bathroom closes, Alex whirls around. “I’m so sorry,” he says quickly. “I, I wasn’t meaning to overstep or anything, but that guy was being such an ass and - “

“No, it’s fine,” Michael says. Pauses. “You do that a lot? Try to play the hero?”

Alex ducks his gaze. Swallows. “Um, never quite like that before. Like, pretending to be someone’s boyfriend.”

Michael shrugged. “Hey, it worked. I tried for over an hour to shake that guy with no luck.”

Alex scoffs a little. “I noticed.”

Michael quirks an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

Alex makes an amused little sound. “Yeah.”

Michael nods a little, mostly to himself. “Definitely did not expect this to blow up the way it did though.”

“Oh god, no. Like, what are the chances?”

“I dunno, man.” Michael shakes his head. “Iz is never gonna let me hear the end of this either. Like, she’s constantly trying to set me up.”

“Ugh, same with Maria!” Alex says. “Especially this close to the holidays.” His brow furrows. “I, uh, I got out of a relationship fairly recently, and Maria keeps wanting me to, you know, get back out there.”

Michael eyes him. “So, you don’t have a real boyfriend, then?”

Alex shakes his head.

“Then how’d you like a fake one?” Alex’s eyes go wide, and Michael suddenly feels very stupid. “I mean, you don’t have to. It’s a dumb idea. Forget that I - “

“Just for the holidays,” Alex says, and Michael stops talking immediately. “It, it would get everyone off our backs, it sounds like. And I’m only in Albuquerque for another month or two anyway for a work assignment, so there’s kind of a natural endpoint.”

Michael eyes him. “You serious right now?”

Alex shrugs. Avoids eye contact. “If you’re game, I am.”

And then Alex’s gaze slides up, up from the floor to Michael’s eyes, and there’s this... this flicker of something. Interest? Hope? Michael can’t quite place it, but it’s enough to make him nod. “Yes. Let’s do this.”

Alex laughs a little. “Okay.” He cocks his head to the side, seems to be scrutinizing Michael a bit. “So... in like 60 seconds, so Maria doesn’t actually think we’re fucking in here, what would be important for me to know about you?”

Michael purses his lips. “Um, I’m in grad school at UNM. Environmental engineering.” Alex’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Michael can’t help but feel a little proud. “Isobel, out there, is my sister, and I’m guessing you went to school with Max, too?” Alex nods. “He’s my brother. And my dad’s a mechanic. Still lives out in Truth or Consequences, where I grew up.”

Alex is frowning. “Wait, you’re Isobel and Max’s brother? But you didn’t grow up all together?”

“No. It’s a long story, but figured if we were actually, you know, dating that you would know Iz isn’t just a friend.”

Alex nods thoughtfully. “Okay. Anything else I should know?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, as he smiles wickedly. “I’m great in bed. Best you’ve ever had,” he says with a wink.

He’s pleased to see Alex’s eyes go very wide.

“Well, in that case,” Alex finally says, recovering, “maybe it will make sense that we don’t know all that much about each other.”

Michael huffs a little laugh. “Anything else you want to know about me?”

“Um, maybe a last name?”

Michael laughs. “Yes. Good idea. I’m Michael Sanders.”

“Alex Manes,” he replies. He pauses, seems to consider his words. “Um, I’m ex-military. Less than a year out.”

“Huh,” Michael says, giving him an up and down look. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Yeah,” Alex says quickly. “I work as a consultant now, doing computer stuff.”

“Like programming?”

Alex grins a little. “Code breaking, actually.”

“Nice,” Michael says approvingly.

“The company I’m working with on my current assignment is putting me up in a hotel downtown. The Marriott. Maria’s visiting me for the weekend and staying there with me. I own a cabin outside Roswell, but I haven't been there much these past few months.”

“So we’ve had a bunch of dirty hotel hook ups, then?”

“Totally,” Alex says without missing a beat. “The front desk knows you on sight.”

Michael grins. “Well, I do know how to make an impression.”

“You do,” Alex says, more seriously than Michael expects. “Um, where do you live?”

“Nob Hill, walking distance to campus.”

Alex eyes him slyly. “So we’ve definitely nursed hangovers over brunch at The Shop?”

“Couple times,” Michael says without hesitation. “It’s usually pretty late in the morning, though, cause we like to sleep in and then, you know...”

Alex smirks. “I do.”

Michael looks at him expectantly, waiting for more information.

Alex frowns a bit. “Should we head back out?”

“Wait, is that everything?”

Alex laughs a little. “I actually think you now know more about me than most of the guys I’ve slept with.”

Michael’s eyes go wide. “You serious?”

Alex bites his lip a bit at that. “Maybe?”

“Fair enough, babe.” Alex makes a face. “Too much?”

“A little.”

“Okay.” Michael turns to go, then stops. “Shit, we should probably have some story about how we met.”

“We met two weeks ago in a bar,” Alex says smoothly. “Something by your place.”

“Two Fools,” Michael says.

“That’s appropriate, given what we’re doing,” Alex says with a chuckle. “Some asshole was harassing you and I came over. Pretended to be your boyfriend, and we ended up hitting it off in real life.”

Michael’s staring at him.

“If you have to lie, you should make it close to the truth. That’s how I was trained, anyway.”

_How much of this is a Iie for you?_ Michael wants to ask, because god damn if he isn’t hitting it off with this man right fucking now.

“We really should go back out there,” Alex says, sounding almost reluctant.

“Right,” Michael says.

They’ve just exited the bathroom when Alex reaches over, slides his hand in Michael’s, and leans in. “Oh, and for the record?” he says, voice low. “I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good in bed, too.”

***

“When the fuck were you going to tell me that you had a boyfriend?!”

“Iz - “

“I already told Cassie Dixon you were single. She’s probably already spent money on a lash lift trying to impress you.”

“I, I don’t even know what that means.”

“Of course you don’t. Look at your lashes, you’d never need one.”

“Again, what?”

“Oh, never mind,” Isobel mutters, shaking her head as the Uber winds its way back to her new, overpriced condo. “I’m just surprised is all. You hadn’t mentioned anything.”

“It’s all so new, you know.”

Iz snorts a little. “Tell me about it. You two couldn’t stop eye fucking each other.”

“Whoa, what?”

“I actually thought you guys were really fucking, given how long you were in the bathroom together,” Isobel sighs, and Michael can see their driver’s eyes dart back to stare at them in the rear view mirror, “but as soon as you came out, Maria said you weren’t disheveled enough.”

Michael shakes his head. “I still can’t believe you know her. And Alex.”

Isobel nods. “Maria and I... I wouldn’t call her a _nemesis_ , but...”

“Oh god.”

“Hey, I am playing nice, Michael, on your behalf. Very nice. I invited her to my open house, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did, thank you.” Isobel had rounded on him and Alex as soon as they got out of the bathroom, questioning why Michael hadn’t yet told her he was bringing a date to her Christmas Open House tomorrow night. When it became apparent that Maria would still be in town visiting Alex, Isobel’s hostess instincts overrode her personal ones, and Maria got an invitation, too.

“It’s not like caribou is on the menu, so I think the party should be safe,” Isobel mutters. She settles back in her seat, eyes Michael. “You’re usually pretty easy to read,” she says. “You like this guy?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, mustering a smile.

“Hmm,” Isobel says.

“Um, what do you remember about him? From middle school?”

She goes quiet, looks thoughtful. “Not much, really. I’ve been trying to think about that, actually. He was pretty quiet. Into, like, skateboarding, playing the guitar. He left around seventh grade. Rumor was, his dad sent him to some military school on the East Coast.”

Michael frowns a little. “He _is_ ex-military.”

Isobel looks surprised. “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Michael says.

“It was always weird to me, that his dad sent him away, because he had older brothers, too, and all of them went to Roswell High.” She pauses. “Actually, now that I think about it, they all went into the military, too. Must be a family thing. They were all hot, too. Not all nice, though. I hope Alex is.”

“So far so good,” Michael says quietly as the car pulls up to Iz’s condo.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Michael. Please be on time to help me set up?”

“You got it, Iz.”


	2. Haul out the Holly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Michael keep up the charade at Isobel's Christmas Open House.

_December 12_

“So do you, like, engineer the environment?”

Dear god. “Something like that,” Michael says, smiling politely at Cassie Dixon, one of Isobel’s old sorority sisters who’s been pursuing him ever since they hooked up at a party junior year.

“Do you do stuff with global warming?”

“Michael, hi!” comes a voice, suddenly. Deep and warm. Oh, thank god.

Since the bar last night, Michael’d had a few freak-out moments. What the fuck was he doing, being fake boyfriends with this guy? Like, that was Hallmark movie Christmas shit right there. He and Alex had discreetly exchanged numbers at the bar, and there had already been two occasions when Michael had nearly called the whole thing off.

But at this moment, trapped in small talk hell with Cassie and her unnaturally long, lifted eyelashes, Michael was so, so grateful for this ridiculous arrangement with Alex.

“Hey, babe,” Michael purrs. Alex raises an eyebrow but continues his advance, pulling Michael in for a tight hug.

“Mmm, I missed you,” Alex says, loud enough that Cassie can hear, and yet it still feels like it’s just for Michael.

Michael hugs back, can’t help but feel the warmth of Alex’s body, the shift of muscles under his skin. God dammit. He pulls back quickly. “So glad you could make it.”

Cassie is looking at them, slack-jawed. “Michael…?”

“Cassie, this is my boyfriend, Alex. Alex, meet Cassie. She went to college with Isobel.”

Cassie takes Alex’s extended hand, shakes it. She still seems dazed. “Boyfriend?” She swallows. “I, um, I had no idea you were – “

“Bi. I’m bi, Cassie.”

She nods. “Okay.” Looks at Michael. Looks at Alex. Looks down at her drink. “I, um, I am going to get some food. Nice to meet you, Alex.”

“You too, Cassie.” Alex says, then turns to Michael.

“Um, yeah, so I’m bi,” Michael says, suddenly feeling nervous. “Maybe should have mentioned that in the bathroom last night?”

Alex shrugs a little, smiles. “Now works.”

Michael can feel his shoulders sag in relief. “So that… isn’t a problem for you?”

“Problem? Why would it be?” Alex must see Michael’s expression, because he’s quick to reassure him. Grabs his hand, squeezes. “It’s no problem for me, Michael.”

The hug, now the hand grab. God dammit. Why is he _fake_ -dating a guy he’d like to _real_ -fuck? He swallows, hard. He, he actually seems nice, too. Michael blows out a breath, regroups. “Thanks for doing this,” he whispers.

“Seems to be my mission in life, saving you from unwanted advances,” Alex says, looking in the direction of Cassie’s retreating form.

“My hero,” Michael says drily.

“Well, not to worry,” Alex says. “Um, if you wouldn’t mind a sort of quid pro quo situation, Maria is having her annual Christmas party at the Pony next Friday, and she’s invited me. And you.” He bites his lip. “That is, if you don’t already have plans.”

Michael _does_ have plans – the department Christmas party. And this is the perfect excuse to cancel them. “I’m all yours,” he says, allowing himself the pleasure of reaching out and squeezing Alex’s shoulder a little.

Alex smiles, and it looks genuine, by Michael’s account. “Great. Um, thank you.” His face twists a little. “My, ah, my ex will probably be there. He’s fine, it’s not like he’s going to start anything, but still, it’ll be nice to be there with someone else and not have to deal with that. Or with Maria trying to push someone new on me, you know?”

Michael huffs a laugh. “I _do_ know,” he says, looking over his shoulder in Isobel’s direction.

Alex chuckles. “Mind if we go over? I brought this for her,” he says, holding up a little bag.

“Such a good guest,” Michael says.

“I try,” Alex says as they wind their way through the crowd.

“Alex!” Isobel exclaims when she sees him. “Don’t you look fantastic?” she says as she pulls him into a hug. As they’re embracing, she points to Alex’s back and gives Michael a thumbs up. Michael rolls his eyes at her.

As they part, Alex reaches for the bag. “I brought this for you. Thank you for inviting me. Your place is beautiful.”

Isobel takes the bag and pulls out a bottle of wine. “A Rioja? Reserva?” She smiles coyly. “Muy bien. Gracias, Alex.”

He smiles. “Maria helped me choose.”

Isobel’s smile barely falters. “Well, I suppose alcohol is in her wheelhouse. Where is she, by the way?”

Alex looks around. “Over by the fireplace.”

Michael nods. “Let’s head over.”

The three of them walk toward the fireplace, where Maria is looking at the pictures on the mantel. 

“Isobel,” she says as they get closer. “Michael.”

“Thank you for coming, Maria,” Isobel says. “Still can’t believe we all ran into each other yesterday.”

Maria smiles politely, nods. “I was just looking at your pictures. Is Max coming tonight?”

Isobel shakes her head. “He couldn’t make it, unfortunately. He’s a high school teacher in Santa Fe, and I think they have some sort of holiday show tonight.”

“Ah,” Maria nods. “Well tell him I said hello.”

“Same,” adds Alex.

“Oh what the hell, tell him I said hi, too,” Michael adds, and they all laugh.

“How much longer are you in town, Maria?” Isobel asks. “Michael tells me you’re staying with Alex at his hotel.”

“Just for the weekend. I’ll probably drive back tomorrow afternoon. I don’t often take time away from the bar, but Alex has been here a few months already, and I just thought it would be nice to visit.”

Alex looks at her warmly. “I’m glad you did.” He looks at Michael and Isobel. “Since you two live here, maybe you could give me some advice. Is there anything fun here in Albuquerque I could do with Maria tomorrow?”

Michael grins. “Well, you know the brunches at The Shop are fantastic.”

Isobel rolls her eyes. “You need to start leaving Nob Hill, Michael. Seriously,” she says, directing her attention to Alex, “get him to go out more. Somewhere he can’t walk to.”

Alex smiles slyly. “I happen to like our brunches at The Shop.”

Michael decides to flirt back. “Do you like the brunches or what happens before them?”

“Oh my god,” Isobel says. She shakes her head a little. “We should all go out tomorrow morning near Civic Plaza. Slate Street Café. Does 11am work?”

“Um, sure,” Alex says, looking to Maria for approval. 

Michael frowns a bit. “Do we need reservations?”

Isobel quirks an eyebrow. “Myra is a friend. I’ll make a call.” 

Maria laughs a bit. “Okay, then.”

“Speaking of food,” says Isobel, “have you tried anything yet?” She looks at Maria. “There are vegetarian options.”

Maria smiles a little. “Lead the way.”

Isobel leads them toward the food stations set up in the living room where her television usually is. Michael had helped her carry it into the bedroom earlier, and he’s sure he’ll be setting it back up after the party ends. 

“Stop,” Isobel says suddenly, face serious. 

“What?” Michael asks, confused.

“Stop right there, Michael. You too, Alex.”

“What’s going on?” Alex asks.

Isobel suddenly smiles. Looks up. “You’re under the mistletoe!”

Michael looks up, too, and, sure enough, there it is – right where he hung it earlier. “You’re a menace, you know,” he says to Isobel, who just shrugs and looks at him expectantly. He turns to Alex and raises an eyebrow, a silent question of whether he wants to do this.

Alex raises an eyebrow right back, all mischief, and grins broadly as he brings a hand up to Michael’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

Michael… likes it. God dammit, he really likes it. Something about the way Alex pulls him in – not forceful but… firm. Sure. And the kiss itself… Michael brings a hand up to the small of Alex’s back, presses against him.

“Well, damn,” Maria says. 

They pull away, breathless, as Isobel raises her glass. “Merry Christmas!”


	3. It's Christmastime in the City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael, Alex, Isobel, and Maria enjoy brunch together. Michael learns something new about Alex.

_December 13_

“That was amazing,” Michael says, pushing back from the table at the little café, rubbing his stomach appreciatively.

Alex smiles at him. “That was delicious. Honestly, the huevos rancheros here are the closest I’ve ever had to Arturo’s.”

Maria’s mouth drops open. “Right? Like, I wasn’t going to say it, but…”

“Oh my god,” Isobel says, looking pleased. “I’ve thought the same thing for years.”

Michael laughs lightly. “Who is this Arturo?” He looks at Alex, raises an eyebrow. “Should I be jealous?”

Isobel barks out a laugh. “God, no. Arturo is, like, the sweetest man. He runs the Crashdown Café in Roswell. You’ve eaten there before.”

“Oh yeah,” Michael says, glancing at Isobel. “Hard to forget that décor.” Her eyes narrow a little.

“And the enchiladas,” Maria says matter-of-factly. “Please tell me you made him get the enchiladas, Isobel.”

“I actually think I got a burger,” Michael says. Probably because it was cheap.

Isobel leans forward conspirationally. “You know, back in high school, Max was obsessed with your one friend that worked there. Liz?”

Maria claps a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god, for real?” She looks at Alex, and they smile. “You know, I think she actually had a little thing for him, too. She would talk about him a lot. But they were bio partners, so it sometimes wasn’t clear if Liz was focusing more on Max or science.” She sips her water. “Probably both, knowing Liz.”

“How’s she doing, anyway? Haven’t heard from her in years.”

Maria shrugs. “She’s good. Busy. Working up in Denver last I heard. Biomedical stuff.”

“She’s not still with Valenti, is she?”

Alex laughs. “Wait, Liz and Kyle?”

Maria whirls around to face him. “Did you not know that? They dated all through high school, and a little after.” She redirects her attention to Isobel. “They broke up freshman year. Distance,” she says, by way of explanation.

“Fair enough,” Isobel says. “Well if you talk to her, tell her Max says hi. She single?”

“Last I heard,” Maria says.

“I’ll let him know he still has a chance, then. Something tells me we’ll be dining at the Crashdown over Christmas break.”

A woman approaches them, smiling. “Isobel, thanks for coming in with your friends.”

“It was a pleasure, as always,” Isobel says.

“Pleasure’s mine,” the woman says. “Your meal’s on the house, and I’ll see you next Sunday morning.”

Isobel smiles brightly. “Thank you so, so much Myra. Everything was delicious, and I love the decorations you’ve put up.”

“Thanks. Take care!”

The woman retreats back to the kitchen, and Michael looks at Isobel, open-mouthed. “Did, did you just somehow get this whole thing comped?”

Isobel shrugs. “Myra’s a friend, and a business associate. She’s done a lot of catering for me.”

Alex stares at Isobel. “What do you do, exactly?”

“I run an event planning business.”

Maria looks at her and unexpectedly raises a glass. “Well, cheers to that. Another female entrepreneur.”

Isobel looks surprised, but raises her own glass, clinks it with Maria’s. “Cheers to that,” she repeats, and Michael breathes a sigh of relief. He can’t quite explain why it makes him so pleased to see Isobel and Maria genuinely getting along, but he suspects it has everything to do with the other person at the table…

“Can I at least leave a tip, Isobel?” Alex asks, and Isobel waves him off.

“No,” she says, withdrawing her wallet from her purse and leaving a generous tip. “This is relationship building, for me. And a delicious meal. And,” she looks at him closely, “an opportunity to get to know my brother’s boyfriend and his friend a little better.”

Michael feels a warmth in his stomach as Alex drops his head and smiles.

“Anyone feel like walking off some of this?” Maria asks, standing and putting on her coat.

“Yes,” Isobel says immediately. “I know just the place.”

***

“This is so cute,” Maria coos, pointing to the little rink set up at the Civic Center. There are about twenty people skating around, enjoying themselves.

“They have a little Christmas market set up, too,” Isobel says, pointing at the stalls. “Local vendors.”

“That’s a great idea,” Maria says. “Might be nice to get something like this going at the Pony next year. Not the ice rink, but maybe invite some local artists, make it a thing.”

“That’s a great idea,” Alex says.

And maybe it’s the Christmas spirit, or the two Bloody Marys, but Michael can’t resist turning to Alex. “Wanna skate?”

Alex’s face falls, suddenly, and Michael doesn’t miss the way Maria looks at him sharply. Alex seems to notice, too. He laughs, a little wryly. “I’m not much of a skater these days.” He touches Michael’s arm, suddenly, makes eye contact. “But it would be fun to go look at the shops with you.”

It’s not a request. Michael’s confused, but he nods. “Okay. And maybe some hot chocolate?”

Alex seems to relax a little. “Sounds good.”

“I might skate a little,” Isobel says. “Do you want to skate too, Maria?”

Maria glances at Alex, and he gives her a little nod. “Oh what the hell. I’ll give it a try.”

“We’ll meet you back here,” Alex says.

“Sounds good,” Maria replies.

Alex grabs Michael’s hand and marches him, quickly, over to the stalls. Out of earshot of Maria and Isobel, who are just getting their skates.

“I need to tell you something,” Alex says, voice serious.

Michael frowns. “Okay…”

Alex seems uncomfortable, in a way he really hasn’t yet with Michael. “I, shit, I should have told you this sooner, but I guess I just thought it wouldn’t come up?” He takes a deep breath. “I’m missing part of my right leg.” He doesn’t give Michael a chance to respond, just keeps going. “I, it was an IED. Iraq, a few years back. And, and when you brought up the skating… well, it’s not like I absolutely couldn’t skate, if I wanted to, but it would probably take a special prosthetic, and focused PT, and…” Alex swallows. “And if this is, like, not your thing, I get it.” He glances down. “I mean, none of this is real, anyway, so if you don’t want to – “

“Alex!” Michael finally says, and it seems to almost startle him. “Alex,” he says, more gently. “That… that’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine that you got hurt. I wish that hadn’t happened to you. But as far as how I feel about… about what we’re doing, well… As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t change a damn thing.” He smiles. “You’re still the hot guy that I met in a bar and decided to fake date for the holidays.”

Alex lets out a relieved little half-gasp, half-laugh. “Well, in that case,” he says, eyeing Michael. “Maybe we should keep fake shopping,” he places his hand in Michael’s, “and get some real hot cocoa.”

Michael wants to kiss him. Wants to kiss him so badly. Wants to smooth his hair off his forehead, his temple, and reach in, show Alex that he cares about him. No matter what.

Instead, he just squeezes Alex’s hand harder, enough that he hopes Alex can feel the difference, the intent behind it. “Let’s get that hot cocoa.”


	4. At the Christmas Party Hop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael attends the Christmas party at the Pony with Alex.

_December 18_

“That’s him,” Alex whispers, then takes a long pull of his beer.

Michael narrows his eyes. “In the corner?” Alex nods. “Blonde?”

“No.”

“Wait, so the blue-haired guy?”

“That’s him,” Alex says, resigned. He turns to look. “He moved on fast,” he mutters.

“So did you,” Michael says, gesturing to himself.

Alex looks away. “Yeah, but...” he shakes his head. “This isn’t real.”

Michael sees the blue-haired guy turn toward them, and decides, fuck it. He softens his stance, gives Alex his best, brightest smile. It’s not hard. “He doesn’t know that,” Michael says before flicking his eyes in the other guy’s direction and drawing closer to Alex.

Alex’s eyes widen, and Michael brings a hand to the small of his back. “I’ll follow your lead here,” he whispers. “I’m down for anything up to and including public nudity,” he says, punctuating the joke with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Alex stares at him, maybe a beat too long, before giving him a little smile. “Well in that case,” he says, and he threads his hands under Michael’s jacket, allowing them to roam all over his back as he pulls Michael in for a kiss.

It’s... it’s a pretty dirty kiss, for a public place. It doesn’t last long, but it has the desired effect. Alex’s ex has stopped dead in his tracks and is just watching them, a complicated expression on his face. Michael notices that Maria’s watching them, too. Very closely.

“Wow,” Alex says as they pull away.

“Yeah,” says Michael, bringing a hand up to his lips where he can still feel Alex’s warmth. “We’re pretty damn good at that.”

Alex takes another sip of beer. “Yeah.”

Maria’s coming their way, a bemused expression on her face. “That was quite the show, you two.” She looks past them. “Seems like it had the desired effect. Forrest and Ricky are leaving.”

Alex frowns a little. “I wasn’t trying to make them leave.”

Maria shakes her head a little. “It’s fine. I think Ricky has a shift over at Planet 7 later tonight, so they probably weren’t staying long anyway. Didn’t open a tab.” She gives them a little smile. “I’m glad you came. Both of you.” The smile fades a bit. “I know this isn’t your scene, Alex, and I know this town hasn’t always been good to you. So thank you.”

“Glad I could do it for you, Maria.”

“You guys still good for the pullout tonight?”

Alex nods. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. It’s got fresh sheets. You know where it is.”

“Sure do,” Alex says.

They’d talked about this ahead of time. The sleeping arrangements for tonight. And each time it came up, Michael tried to play it as cool as possible. Of course he was fine sharing a pullout couch with Alex. Of course it was no big deal. But here, standing inches away from Alex, he’s realizing that it is, in fact, a big fucking deal.

“What are you doing for Christmas this year, Alex?” Maria asks, casually, as she brings them both fresh beers.

“I’ll probably just be out at the cabin,” Alex says, reaching for the new drink.

“Really?” Michael asks, confused. “Thought you had family in town. Brothers?”

Alex looks at him sharply, and Maria frowns. “Have you not told him about - ?“

“I’m not really close with my family,” Alex interrupts.

“I’d invite you to come see Mimi with me, but there are flu precautions in place, and guests are restricted.”

Alex’s face falls. “I hadn’t even thought of all that, with flu season. How’s she doing?”

“I mean, pretty similar. Good days and bad, and I never know what I’ll get. It’s hard.”

“Very,” Alex says solemnly.

Maria sighs, turns her attention to Michael. “And what are your Christmas plans?”

“I’m gonna visit my dad out in Truth or Consequences.” He looks at Alex. “You should come.”

“Michael,” Alex says, and Michael can’t quite identify the look on his face.

“I’m serious,” Michael says quickly, then drops his voice. “I’m serious, Alex,” he repeats, and he hopes that at this moment, Alex knows it the real Michael talking, that no matter what they are to each other, Michael doesn’t want him spending Christmas all alone at a cabin. “It, it’s nothing fancy. Dad has a trailer, same one where I grew up, but, but we always have a good meal, some good booze.” He pauses. “You should come. If you want.” And at that moment, Michael realizes how much he wants Alex there with him, how natural it would feel to have Alex at the little table with him and Sanders.

“Sounds like I have something to think about,” Alex says slowly. “Um, I’ve gotta use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He pats Michael on the knee as he goes to leave, almost like he’s trying to keep him in place, so Michael doesn’t follow. Just watches him go and wishes he knew what he was thinking.

“Hey,” Maria says softly. “Michael.”

Michael shakes off his thoughts, turns to face her. “Yeah?”

“What’s your drink?”

Michael’s brow furrows. “Um, I’ve got a Bud Light.”

Maria shakes her head. “Uh-uh.” She leans in a bit. “What would you order if you walked into a bar like this and money wasn’t a concern?”

Michael scoffs a bit. “Can’t say I’ve ever really had that experience.”

Maria nods knowingly. “I see you, Michael Sanders. So I repeat, if it was up to you, just your own personal taste, what would you be drinking?”

Michael’s quiet for a few breaths, just looking at her. She has a way of looking at him that twists him up a little. This feels like a test, almost, and he desperately wants to pass. “Whiskey,” he finally says. “Little burn, but nothing too bad. I… I like to still be able to taste it, you know?”

“I do,” Maria says, and she reaches under the bar. Pulls out a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label.

“Maria,” Michael warns, eyes wide.

“Shut up,” she says, giving him a careful little half-pour. “It’s Christmas. I don’t do this often, so just enjoy it, okay?” She purses her lips. “And, and I can’t quite figure it out. You and Alex.”

Michael opens his mouth to protest, but Maria holds up a hand.

“Nope. I don’t want any bullshit. But I do want _you_ to know this. Alex, he hasn’t had an easy time of it. In fact, he’s had a harder time than he’d probably ever let on, even to me. But since you’ve been around, he’s been, I dunno, lighter.” She pours a little for herself, too, no more than a swallow. “So whatever you’re doing, don’t fuck it up, okay?” She holds the glass out, and Michael dutifully clinks it with his. “Cheers.”

Maria’s done with hers quickly, but Michael sips his slowly. Savors it. “This… this is really good,” he says appreciatively. 

“It is,” Maria says, and she looks at him thoughtfully. “I hope he goes home with you. For Christmas.”

“Me too,” says Michael, and god, he means it.


	5. Santa Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was only one pullout couch!!!
> 
> This is where we start earning our rating, folks - there is smut ahead (explicit sexual content), so please just be aware if that's not your thing.
> 
> Also, I've reconfigured the way I'm splitting chapters a little, so the chapter count has increased. Enjoy!

_December 19_

“That’s the last of them,” says Michael, as he places the final glass in the dishwasher.

“Thank you,” Maria says, looking genuinely grateful. She starts the machine and looks around. “You guys did not have to do all this.”

“Hey,” Alex says, coming up to her and casually flinging an arm around her shoulders, “you’re giving us a place to crash for the night. It’s the least we can do.”

“Still,” Maria says, eyeing them. She reaches in her pocket, withdraws a little key ring. “This is for the office and the main door. If you guys head out before I’m back in the morning, just lock up and slide this back under the door - I have a copy so I’ll still be able to get in.”

“Thanks, Maria,” Alex says, hugging her.

She hugs back, and Michael’s struck by how close they are. He’s never had a friend like that, outside of Isobel and Max, who are family.

Maria crosses to him next and gives him a quick peck on the cheek before walking toward the exit. “Take care, you two. Get some rest,” she says.

They stand in the dark, empty bar, listening to Maria’s truck fire up and pull away.

Alex pulls out his phone. “2:58? Oh my god,” he says. “I don’t know how she does this every night.” He looks at Michael. “We better get settled in.”

“Of course,” Michael says. “Lead the way.”

Alex does, withdrawing the key Maria gave him and crossing to a small office in the far corner of the bar. “Maria’s let me crash here more than once when I’ve been home on leave,” he says, fiddling with the lock. “There we go,” he mutters as it gives way.

Michael peers in the room, takes in the little pullout couch, neatly made up. Maria had stashed their duffel bags in here earlier in the evening. He watches perhaps too closely as Alex sits down on the bed and begins to tug at his jeans.

He must notice Michael’s eyes on him, because he stops suddenly. “Um, I’m going to need to take off my prosthesis for the night. It can be kind of... jarring, just a warning.”

Michael sits down beside him, catches his eye. “You do whatever you have to do, okay?”

Alex swallows, nods. “Okay.”

By the time Michael’s gotten his boots off, Alex’s prosthesis is already off and a new pair of sweatpants is securely in place. Michael thinks about how easy it would be to shove his hand down those sweatpants, pull them down completely and suck Alex off until he was begging for more...

“Michael?”

_Shoot._ “Yeah?”

“Do you have a preference?”

Michael blinks. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh,” said Alex. “I just asked if you preferred one side of the bed over another?”

“Nah,” Michael says easily. “Whatever’s easiest for you.”

“Okay,” Alex nods. I’ll just stay here, then. It, it’s closer to the bathroom if I need to get up during the night. How are you feeling?”

Michael laughs lightly. “I definitely drank a little more than I usually would, but I’m fine. I’ve been drinking water since last call.”

“Same,” says Alex. Michael goes to pull off his shirt, and Alex looks away quickly. “I’ll, uh, just use the bathroom.” 

Michael pauses, watches Alex maneuver his way through the room without his prosthesis. He looks down at himself and sighs, wondering if Alex was uncomfortable with Michael changing right in front of him. Normally, Michael would sleep in just his underwear, but in deference to Alex, he pulls out a pair of sweats and a thin undershirt. He changes quickly and settles himself on the edge of the pullout couch. 

“Your turn,” he hears Alex say, and he stands. Their chests nearly touch as they move past each other, and Michael can feel a familiar jolt of interest pass through him. God dammit, how is he gonna make it a whole night in the same bed as this guy? In the bathroom, he briefly considers jerking off, just to take the edge off, but decides against it. He’d be mortified if Alex heard something, or suspected. He brushes his teeth quickly, splashes water on his face, and exits the bathroom.

Alex is already settled under the sheets and the quilt. “You need anything else before I get the light?” Michael asks.

“No, I’m good,” Alex says.

Michael shuts off the light on the desk and crosses to the pullout couch. He gives himself a moment to get settled. 

Typically, he’s one of those people that can fall asleep anywhere. He thinks it’s a product of his youth. Things weren’t always easy, with Sanders. They’d bounced around a few places before settling in the trailer at the auto yard in Truth or Consequences. But tonight, he can’t seem to calm the thoughts, the… the hormones. He glances at Alex, mere inches from him, and sees that he’s still awake, too.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks softly.

Alex laughs a bit. “Guess not. I still feel a little wired. Being in a crowded bar like this, it’s not something I do often, you know?”

Michael makes a little noise of agreement. “You mind if I ask you a question?”

He hears Alex swallow. “Okay.”

This is something that he’s been wondering all night. “Um, what happened, between you and your ex?” He sees Alex’s shoulders slump a little. “Sorry,” he says quickly. “It’s probably none of my business.”

Alex shifts in the bed, turns to face Michael. “No, no, I kind of made it your business when I asked you to come with me to this party specifically to avoid having to deal with him on my own,” he says wryly. “His name’s Forrest, and…” He trails off, shakes his head. “He’s actually the only guy I’ve ever seriously dated.” Alex must note Michael’s look of surprise, even in the low lighting. Alex sighs. “Our entire relationship… I think the whole thing, from the very beginning, was more about my own shit than anything to do with him, really. Like, he’s a nice guy. A good guy. But…”

Michael’s quiet for a long moment, waiting for Alex to continue.

“We met at the library, actually. You, you’re from a small town, too, right?”

“Smaller than this,” Michael says.

“Yeah,” Alex murmurs. “So, so you know. I can’t imagine Truth or Consequences is having a, a fucking Pride parade, you know?”

Michael snorts. “Oh my god, no.”

Alex bites his lip. “Exactly. Small towns like this… I mean, I wasn’t expecting anything. Wasn’t expecting to meet anyone. Especially… especially after my leg. Just sort of resigned myself to the idea that I’d be on my own for awhile. Maybe for a long time.” Alex pauses. “But then there was this guy, actually… actually flirting with me, showing interest and… I dunno. Just nice to think I could inspire a reaction like that, you know?”

“Alex,” Michael says, and he wants to reach out, skim the line of Alex’s body with his palm, pull him in for a kiss. He settles with inching his hand closer to Alex’s. Close enough to touch, if Alex wants.

“Forrest was ex-military, too, so I figured that made him a little more understanding with the whole leg thing. But he was so… comfortable, being out.”

“Are, are you not comfortable with it?” Michael asks, curious.

“In Albuquerque,” Alex starts, thoughtful, “it’s easier. There’s not all this… baggage, from the past, the way there is in Roswell. There’s not my father.”

“You mentioned earlier you weren’t close with your family.”

Alex scoffs a bit. “That’s an understatement. My father hates me. Specifically because of this,” Alex says, gesturing between his body and Michael’s. “Sent me away because of it, before I even realized what was going on, you know?” Alex shakes his head a bit. “He’s this big local hero, pillar of the community shit, and he’s also an abusive asshole.” He shakes his head. “I know it’s stupid. I get my leg blown off in combat and I’m still scared of how my dad's gonna react if he catches me with a guy.”

“It’s not stupid,” Michael says quickly. “It… it makes sense to me. It’s a risk assessment, right? Albuquerque’s a big city, lots of different kinds of people. Your dad’s hours away. Makes sense you’d be more comfortable being able to live your life there. I mean, in the military, I’m sure certain situations were higher risk than others, and you reacted accordingly, right?”

Alex is just staring at him, his eyes looking so dark in the low light. “Michael,” he says, voice low, and he circles Michael’s wrist with his hand. 

Michael looks at where their bodies are touching, shifts so his entire body is lined up right against Alex’s. “Alex,” he says.

Alex is looking right at him, right in his eyes. “Can I…?”

Michael nods. “Yeah.”

And they’re kissing. It’s not like the mistletoe kiss or the kiss in the bar - showy, designed to sell a fiction. No, this feels real. No one’s here but them, and Michael’s so grateful for it. Alex’s hands are in his hair, pulling just enough for Michael to feel it, to melt into their contact even more. Michael's’ hands are under Alex’s shirt, touching the bare skin of his back. Experimentally, he slides a hand lower, just under the waistband of Alex’s sweats to the swell of his ass.

“Fuck,” Alex groans, right into Michael’s mouth, and Michael grips his ass harder, bringing Alex’s body even closer to him. Michael can feel how hard Alex is, can feel how hard _he_ is right now. 

Michael pulls away from Alex. “Wanna, wanna suck you off,” he says, panting.

Alex lets out a strangled little laugh, and it spurs Michael on.

“I’ve wanted to since I saw you in those sweatpants.” He pauses. “Since you first came up to me in the bar, really.”

Alex nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

Michael nods back, begins to kiss down Alex’s neck, then his chest, over his t-shirt. Alex’s hand is resting lightly in Michael’s hair. Michael nuzzles Alex’s dick through his sweatpants, feeling the heat of him, and Alex groans. “God damn,” he mutters, and Michael grins. 

He grasps the elastic of Alex’s sweats and underwear and begins to pull – not hard, just enough to free Alex’s dick. The sight of it is enough to narrow Michael’s focus – it’s like everything else falls away. Michael pulls Alex’s sweatpants and underwear down a bit further. “This okay?” he asks.

“Yes, yes,” Alex says, a hint of desperation to his voice that Michael loves to hear. Feels proud he put there. 

He’s not going to make him wait. This, this isn’t about teasing, or drawing things out. He’s been wanting to get his mouth on Alex for over a week, and he finally has his chance. 

He’s rewarded with a low groan, and it spurs him on. He loves sucking dick. Loves it. Loves the feel of it, loves the way it can make a partner lose his damn mind. He wants Alex to lose his damn mind for him. Because of him. Michael sucks him in deep, showing off a little. Alex, Alex probably can’t even see it, given how dark it is, but Michael doesn’t care, just keeps going, drinking in the whole sensory experience of it – Alex’s moans, the smell of him, the slide of the dick in his mouth and throat, the taste of him. He can tell Alex is getting closer, and he shifts his approach, pulling off a bit and focusing on the head of Alex’s dick, using his hand to hold him in place, rub up and down the shaft.   
  


“Fuck, Michael,” Alex mutters, and Michael hears a dull thud. “Ouch, fuck,” Alex says.

Michael pulls off completely, concerned. ‘You, you okay?”

“Yeah, I, I, sorry, hit my head on the metal frame. You can keep going, I’m fine.”

Michael smiles, gets back to work. 

“I, I’m not gonna last much longer, so…”

Michael nods, makes a little sound of assent, and doubles down on his efforts.

“Michael, I’m, I’m – “

Michael holds Alex in place with his mouth, feels his orgasm. Tastes it. Swallows it down.

“Holy fuck,” Alex marvels, breathing heavily. “Come here.”

Michael releases Alex’s dick from his mouth, pressing one last kiss against the head before climbing up the bed.

“Come here,” Alex repeats, pulling Michael in for a kiss. It’s sloppy, kind of dirty… Michael’s sure that Alex can probably still taste himself on Michael, and it sends another little shock of arousal through him. They’re fully making out now, hands roaming everywhere. Alex has stuck his own hand down Michael’s sweatpants, is circling his dick. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he mutters. “It okay if I take a turn?”

Michael laughs. “Yeah, of course.”

“Okay,” Alex says. Michael watches as he licks his palm, yanks Michael's pants down, and gets right to it. 

With the first touch of Alex’s mouth, Michael lets his head fall back heavily against the pillow. “Fuck, Alex, you feel so fucking good.”

He feels Alex grin around him, keep working him.

“Oh my god, Alex,” he murmurs. “Fuck… I’m so close already. You know how much I loved sucking you off?” Michael’s been told he’s… mouthier in bed, than most. “Yeah you know,” he mutters. “You can feel it, right now. Keep going…”

Alex is making little noises around Michael’s dick, low in his throat, and it’s doing things to Michael. “I’m so close, Alex, seriously, so fucking close. I’m about to come, so… Fuck…”

Alex isn’t pulling off of him, isn’t letting him go. He, he’s actually doing exactly the opposite, sucking Michael through his orgasm while looking up at him with those big, dark eyes.

By the time his orgasm is done, Michael is spent. “Damn,” he says, just lying on the bed, shaking his head slowly from side to side. “Damn,” he repeats, as Alex settles next to him. He runs his hand through Alex’s hair, smiles at him. “That was so good,” he kisses him lightly. 

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, loose and smiling. And yawning, suddenly. “My god I can’t believe we did that,” he says, looking at Michael.

“I’m glad we did, though,” Michael says, and Alex nods his agreement.

“Yeah,” Alex says. “Lemme get cleaned up first. It has to be pushing 4am at this point.”

“Ugh, the only downside of any of this, far as I’m concerned,” Michael says.

“Yeah,” Alex says, pressing one more kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Michael nods, knows that he’s already fading. By the time he feels Alex settle next to him on the pullout couch, he’s too tired to move.


	6. Let's Take that Road Before Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex deal with the morning after and visit the Crashdown before heading back to Albuquerque... with one detour.

“Oh wow.”

Michael wakes with a start.

“Shit,” he hears Alex mutter.

Michael rubs his eyes and swiftly throws an arm over his face to block the sunlight that’s streaming in through the open office door. He can make out Maria’s silhouette, and as he lets his eyes adjust, he can see that she’s smirking.

“Do I even want to know, you two?”

Alex is rubbing at his face. “Maria, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I slept in this long – you know that never happens.”

“You must have needed it,” she says lightly. “Especially if you got a workout last night,” she can’t help but add, looking between the two of them. She brings a hand up to her face, starts to laugh. “I guess it wouldn’t be the first time that old couch has seen some action.” She puts on a stern face, but she’s struggling with it. “Get me some new sheets, Alex. I prefer organic. Target has decent ones.” She starts laughing again. “You guys really do have it bad, don’t you?” She shakes her head and turns away. “I’ll give you some privacy while I start getting things ready.”

She closes the door, and Alex slumps back against the pillows. “Oh god, I’m never going to hear the end of this.” He turns to Michael. “I’m so sorry. I really never sleep in this long.”

“Hey,” Michael says and, after their activities last night, he _does_ skim a hand up Alex’s hip, to his shoulder. “It’s okay. I mean, Maria didn’t seem mad. Like, at all.” He frowns. “ _You_ okay with it? Um, with everything?”

Alex looks at Michael for a long moment. “I am,” he finally says, softly. “I am,” he repeats, punctuating his words with a kiss. It’s quick, their contact, and Alex pulls away. Stretches. “I’ll use the bathroom first. Gotta at least try to look halfway decent.”

“You don’t have to try at that,” Michael says earnestly. 

Alex ducks his head, smiles. “Okay.” He’s halfway to the bathroom when he looks back. “You know,” he says, “you weren’t lying earlier. You really are great in bed.”

Michael grins slyly. “Well, since my reputation’s on the line, you should know, last night? That was just a warm-up.” He leans back in the bed, exposing a little more of his body. “Can’t wait to show you what else I can do.”

“Damn,” Alex says. “That… you have no idea how good that sounds.” He blows out a breath. “But I feel like Maria might not be so forgiving if we have sex in her office… um, again, while she’s right outside. Would you be up for some breakfast at the Crashdown?”

Michael nods. “Yes, absolutely. It would seem that there are some enchiladas I need to try.”

***

“Okay. So I thought maybe you guys were all overhyping these enchiladas. But you weren’t,” Michael says, shaking his head in disbelief. “They’re fucking fantastic.”

“Aren’t they?” Alex asks, leaning forward. “It wasn’t till I left that I realized how spoiled I was, with these.”

“God,” Michael says, putting another forkful in his mouth, “why would anyone come here and get anything else?”

Alex shrugs. “Everything’s pretty good. Fries, burgers, milkshakes, onion - shit.”

Before Michael can ask what’s wrong, there’s a man approaching their table, holding a takeout bag. Good-looking, dark hair...

“Well, how about this?” the man says. He’s smiling, but his eyes are cold. “Didn’t know you were in town.”

“Didn’t know you were in the country,” Alex replies, glaring.

The man shrugs. Doesn’t elaborate. “I see you’re here with a friend.”

And it’s the way he says “friend” that has Michael narrowing his eyes.

Alex just stares at the guy. It’s tense... until an older man wearing an apron approaches the table.

“Do you need any ketchup? Dipping sauces to go?” he asks the man.

The man seems to reluctantly look away from Alex. “No,” he mutters, “I’m good.” He heads for the door. “Alex,” he says with a tight nod. Alex doesn’t say anything as he watches him leave.

It isn’t until the man is out of sight that some of Alex’s tension seems to recede.

“Who was that?” Michael finally asks.

Alex rubs a hand tiredly over his face. “That,” he says, “was my brother.”

***

The drive has been quiet, quieter than Michael would like. He hopes it’s because of the unexpected encounter with Alex’s brother, and not anything to do with their early-morning activities.

Alex’s jaw is tight as he steers the car. There’s no music playing. Michael slumps in his seat.

A few minutes later, Alex turns to him. “You still good to swing by my cabin real quick, like we talked about?”

“Oh yeah, sure,” Michael says.

“Thanks,” Alex says. “It’s really not too far out of the way, and then we can keep headed to Albuquerque.”

“Sure,” Michael says. “That’s fine.”

Alex takes a turn off the main highway, and they start to climb in altitude as the road gets narrower.

“You’re really out here, huh?”

Alex nods. “Yeah, it’s pretty remote.”

“What made you go for a place like this?”

“Oh, um, a family friend left it to me, actually. In his will.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. Happened a few years ago.” Alex is quiet for a moment as he takes another turn. Michael thinks they might be on a driveway now. “Um, his name was Jim. Jim Valenti. He was the Sheriff in Roswell at the time. I didn’t even know he’d named me in the will till months after he’d passed. I’d been holed up in Walter Reed - that’s a military hospital - trying to, like, get my life back together.”

Michael sees a little cabin coming into view. “We’re you guys close?”

Alex’s mouth twists a little. “Not... not close enough to warrant giving me a house, honestly. Like, he has a son my age. Kyle. This really should have gone to him. Or his wife. Like, I kind of feel bad that he gave it to me.” Alex sighs as he pulls right up to the house, puts the car in park. “Do you want to come in, or just wait in the car?”

“I can come in,” Michael says quickly. Honestly, he just wants to keep spending time around Alex. He’s afraid that once they get back to Albuquerque, this bubble that they’ve created will pop.

“Okay,” Alex says. The terrain is a little uneven, and Alex handles it carefully. “I, I think he felt guilty, honestly.”

“Guilty?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Alex says, ascending the steps to the front porch and withdrawing a key ring. “I think he saw what an asshole my dad was to me and felt bad for never, like, stepping in.” He gets the door open, glances at Michael. “They were friends. This is where they hunted together. That’s a warning,” he says wryly, as he swings open the door, revealing a dark interior resplendent with… many dead animals. 

“Oh,” Michael says, looking around. “Um, wow. Yeah. They must have really liked to hunt,” he says, counting at least twelve sets of antlers in plain view.

“Yep,” Alex says. “Can’t say I ever really caught the bug.” He walks around the interior, checking things out. “Looks okay,” he says, half to himself. “It’s been over a month since I was here. This whole Albuquerque job is keeping me busy,” he explains. “I really should come back here more often, just to check it over.”

Michael frowns a little. “You said you’ve been here a few years?”

Alex nods.

“Um, have you made any changes?”

Alex shrugs. “Grab bars in the bathroom. That’s about it.”

Michael nods. “No offense, but it just, just doesn’t seem like you, you know?”

Alex laughs, a little wryly. “I’ll take that as a compliment. It’s _not_ like me. I just…” he sighs. “I had a tough time, after my injury, and then being back here, of all places – it didn’t help. I’m glad I had the Albuquerque assignment. It’s sort of gotten me thinking a little more. About what I want.” He looks at Michael, licks his lips. “Um, about things I didn’t really think I could have.”

Michael feels his stomach clench a little. “That so?”

“Yeah.” Alex looks away quickly. “Can I get you a water or anything? Tea?”

“You know, I wouldn’t mind some caffeine.” _I had a late night,_ he wants to add. Doesn’t.

“That’s a good idea,” Alex says. “Think I’ll have some coffee, too. If you don’t mind waiting.”

Michael laughs a little. “I have nowhere to go till Christmas, at this point. My classes are done, the labs are closed, I finished my grading yesterday. We can stay all week, far as I’m concerned.”

Alex stares at him. “That so?”

Michael inhales, maintains the eye contact. Nods.

“Then I’ll put on that coffee.”

Michael can feel the simmering tension between them as Alex busies himself in the little kitchen area, occasionally sneaking little glances at Michael. After a few minutes, Alex brings a mug over to Michael, setting it on the table. Michael picks up the mug, reads it. “ _Roswell Police Ball, 1988_. Wow.”

Alex snorts a little, sits down in a chair across from Michael with his own coffee mug. “Yeah. There are some doozies here,” he says, holding up his own mug with a neon green alien on it.

Michael rolls his eyes. “Gotta love the Roswell kitsch,” he says drily.

“You have no idea,” Alex says. “Summers, when I wasn’t at my hellhole of a boarding school in Virginia, I worked at the UFO Emporium, in town.” Alex shakes his head a little. “There are, like, some true believers.”

Michael blows on his coffee. Sips it. “How ‘bout you?” he asks. “You believe?”

Alex laughs a little. “I dunno. I mean, I’m sure there’s life out there somewhere. Whether they’ve had anything to do with us here on Earth?” He shrugs, sips his coffee. “No idea.”

Michael nods and immediately changes the subject. “You think you’ll keep this place?”

“For now,” Alex says. “I mean, it was completely paid off, and the taxes out here are like nonexistent. I… I have thought about how it _could_ look, you know? If I cleaned it out, changed some things around. It’s far out, but I don’t always mind that. The bedroom’s a nice size.”

Michael raises an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t mind seeing that,” he says with a smirk.

Alex’s brow furrows, and he sets his mug down. “Really?” he says, looking right at Michael.

“Yeah. Really,” Michael says seriously.

Alex looks down. “So… last night. It wasn’t a one-off for you?”

“God, I hope not,” Michael says quickly.

Alex looks at him, consideringly. “We, we’re kind of pushing the limits of fake dating, here.”

Michael shrugs. “I like pushing limits.”

“Fuck,” Alex groans, bringing a hand to his face. He peers up at Michael. “I have to be back in Albuquerque on Monday. No earlier, though.”

Michael raises an eyebrow. “Seems like that allows for plenty of time for a tour of this place.”

Alex nods. “Anywhere you want to start?”

He’s clearly giving Michael and opening, and Michael is all too willing to take it. “Bedroom,” he says. “Now.”


	7. I Just Want You Here Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael gets that "tour" of the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is smut. 100% smut. I have specifically made this chapter the explicit sexual content so that, if you do not want to read that, you can just skip this and go to the next chapter.
> 
> If this IS your thing, though - enjoy!

The coffee’s been abandoned. Shirts are off. Michael’s back is against the wall of Alex’s bedroom, and Alex’s mouth is on his.

“I, I’ve got stuff,” Alex murmurs, and Michael pulls back a little.

“What, what kind of stuff?” he asks, curious.

Alex seems to freeze a little. “Um, condoms. Lube.”

“Oh, okay,” Michael says with a little laugh. “Wasn’t sure if you meant, like, toys.”

Alex’s eyes go wide. “Would... do you want that?”

Michael nuzzles Alex’s neck. “I think just about anything sounds good with you, right now, Alex.”

Michael feels Alex’s body relax. “Okay,” Alex murmurs, mostly to himself. “How do you want to do this?” he asks, running his hands up and down Michael’s arms.

Michael feels goosebumps raise in the wake of Alex’s touch. “I’m flexible, Alex,” he says, emphasizing the words, hoping his meaning is clear.

Alex draws in a shaky breath. “That’s good,” he says, kissing Michael again, pressing the bare skin of his chest against Michael’s.

“God damn,” Michael groans, feeling heated, oversensitive. He opens his mouth to Alex, lets himself be pressed into the wall, feels where they’re aligned. He chases the friction with his hips, and the movement pulls a groan from Alex.

“What do you want?” Michael murmurs. “What would feel good to you?” His mouth is on Alex’s ear, his neck. “Want to make you feel so good.”

He can feel Alex swallow. “You... you okay with riding me? On the bed?”

“I would be _so_ okay with that,” Michael laughs.

Alex takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says, pulling back a bit. “I’ll go get the supplies. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Michael nods, watches Alex enter what he guesses is a bathroom. Michael takes the opportunity to strip down. Loses the shoes and socks, the jeans, the boxer-briefs. Sits down on the edge of Alex’s bed and waits.

Alex exits the bathroom with towels, a few condoms, lube - and freezes.

“Holy shit,” he says, blinking, looking Michael up and down.

“You’ve already seen most of it,” Michael says with a smirk.

“Yeah, well, not _all_ of it. At once. With, like, actual lighting.” Alex looks at the ceiling and blows out a breath, then looks back at Michael, smiling.

“Your turn,” Michael says, looking pointedly at Alex.

Alex stares at him, crosses to the bed. Deposits the supplies next to Michael and steps back. Keeps up the eye contact as he unbuttons his jeans, pushes them down to reveal his underwear, his prosthetic.

Michael holds steady, just watching Alex as he undresses. Wordlessly, Alex sits on the bed, takes off his shoes and socks and pulls his jeans all the way off. He heaves a deep breath and looks at Michael. “I’m gonna leave this on,” he murmurs, gesturing to his prosthesis.

“Whatever you want, Alex,” Michael says, running a hand down his bare back.

Alex shivers a little, hooks his fingers into his boxer-briefs and pushes them down, over the prosthesis.

“There we go,” Michael breathes.

Alex looks at him. Seems like he wants to say something. Kisses him instead.

Michael loses himself to it, just like he did last night. There’s something about Alex that makes it easy. Easy to relax into the contact, just... feel. Michael’s never been one to get caught up in the mechanics of sex. For him, the best sex has always been about the connection, the feeling of being totally immersed. The thrill that comes with pleasing someone else, making them feel good.

Alex wants to fuck him, and Michael’s going to make sure it feels so damn good.

“I’m gonna get the lube, okay?” Alex says, right in his ear, and Michael nods. “Here, lie back,” Alex says, and Michael’s happy to comply. Spreads his legs and looks up expectedly. “Wow,” Alex mutters, starts to insert a finger. Michael writhes a little bit.

“Just relax,” Alex urges, and Michael nods, breathes. “Fuck,” Alex hisses, “you’re tight.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been a little while for this,” Michael says.

“You ready for another?” Alex asks, voice serious.

“Yeah,” Michael says, and he feels the stretch. “Shit, Alex, that... you feel good,” he says, reaching a hand out, gripping Alex at the first place he makes contact. He thinks it’s his forearm.

Alex chuckles a little, keeps going. “You’re, you’re so hot like this. Can’t believe...” he trails off. “Another?” he finally asks.

“Yeah, yeah,” Michael says. “Get me ready, Alex. Get me good and ready.” He licks his lips. “Gonna ride you so good.”

“You talk a good game,” Alex says, speeding up his movements.

“I don’t _just_ talk,” Michael says, bucking against the bed. “I’m good here,” he says.

“You sure?” Alex asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Sure,” Michael says, a little desperate.

“Okay,” Alex says, pulling away a bit. Michael whines at the loss of contact.

Alex settles himself on the bed, flat on his back. He grabs a pillow to prop up his head and shoulders and looks expectantly at Michael. “Ready when you are.”

And this time, Michael does take his time. Savors the sight a bit, tries to commit it to memory. Last night was so rushed, so frantic - this feels different, reverent, almost. He runs his hands down Alex’s arms, feeling the muscles. Moves downward, tracing the planes of his chest and the jut of his hips.

“Michael,” Alex murmurs, almost self-conscious.

“Anything you want me to know?” Michael asks as he settles himself between Alex’s legs, skims his hands lightly down Alex’s thighs.

Alex breathes deeply, lets it out. “Try not to put pressure on the joint,” he finally says quietly.

“Where it connects?” Michael asks, lightly touching the prosthesis where it meets Alex’s leg.

“Yeah,” Alex says.

Michael withdraws his hand, leans forward a little to kiss Alex. “Got it,” he says. Then he leans back, makes a show of stretching his body. Grins. “Let’s do this.”

He grabs the lube and thoroughly coats Alex, enjoying the sounds he makes as Michael puts in a little twist of his wrist from time to time. God, part of him wants to just sink right down onto Alex, take him in completely, but he knows it’s been a while. And he has a sneaking suspicion that, if he plays this right, this may not be the only time he gets fucked this weekend. So he takes his time - and that’s its own pleasure, feeling his body gradually open up to Alex, inch by inch. It’s slow going, but worth it for the way Alex is looking at him.

Michael allows himself a moment to settle fully on Alex, begins to swivel his hips a little, experimentally.

“Fuck, Michael,” Alex whispers. “Fuck, fuck...”

It’s all the encouragement Michael needs. His knees are on either side of Alex’s closed legs, and he brings his hands to rest just atop his own thighs. And then he starts to move.

Just like last night, he wants to show off a little, show Alex what he can do. So he starts fucking himself on Alex’s dick. With enthusiasm. Using the muscles of his legs to bring the rest of his body up and down.

“Aw fuck,” he mutters, totally in the moment. “Fuck, Alex, you feel so fucking good.”

“Michael,” Alex says, over and over, like it’s a mantra. “Michael...”

“I knew you’d feel good,” Michael murmurs, and he feels Alex start to lift his own hips up to meet Michael’s movements. Michael leans forward a little so he can use his arms to help brace him. It brings him closer to Alex’s face. “Knew it,” he repeats.

Alex is looking at him, almost dazed, thrusting up into him. “You feel so good,” he says, and he grips Michael’s ass, pressing them even closer together.

“Fuck,” Michael groans, pressing back against Alex.

“Where,” Alex starts, “where’s the lube?”

Michael looks around, trying not to break their rhythm. Maybe helps the bottle roll within arm’s reach. He grasps it, hands it to Alex.

Alex shakily coats his hand with it, looks at Michael, and palms his dick.

It’s... a lot. Michael closes his eyes. “Shit, Alex,” he says, “I’m not gonna make it if you keep this up.”

“I’m so close, too,” Alex says. “You okay if, if I fuck you through it?”

“Yeah,” Michael says quickly. “Yeah, yeah.” And that’s when he just lets himself go. Comes all over Alex’s hand and stomach as Alex continues to fuck into him. Alex wipes his hand on the sheets and hastily pulls Michael in closer. “Come on, Alex,” Michael urges, watching his face as he orgasms.

They pause only a moment before they start disentangling themselves. Alex throws the condom in a waste basket next to the bed, but doesn’t get up. Michael pushes back up onto his knees, is about to climb off the bed when he feels Alex’s hand on his knee.

“That... that was really good,” Alex says softly.


	8. As We Dream by the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Have a short interlude before we get to Christmas!

“You really don’t have to be anywhere till Christmas?” Alex asks, fresh from the shower.

“Nope,” Michael says, sipping his tea.

Alex nods. “It’s about a two-and-a-half-hour drive to Albuquerque from here, and, um, we’ve already had some delays.”

“Delays?” Michael says, eyebrows raised. “Is that what we’re calling it?

There’s a ghost of a smile on Alex’s face. “There’s a lot we could call it. But, um, I was thinking, if you were okay with it, maybe we can just crash here tonight. Make some dinner, watch a movie or something. That way we wouldn’t need to rush.”

Michael looks at him. “Certainly wouldn’t want to rush.”

“No,” Alex says, looking at him intently. “What do you think?”

“I think,” says Michael, “that you should choose the movie.”

***

“This is pretty damn romantic, Manes,” Michael says as he grabs another handful of popcorn. They’re on Alex’s couch, watching Star Wars. Alex made them dinner - some frozen one-bag skillet meal. There’s a fire going. Michael’s full, happy... and quite possibly a total goner for Alex Manes.

Like, he doesn’t want to be fuck buddies. He doesn’t want to be friends with benefits. He doesn’t want to be fake dating, or whatever the hell they’re doing at this point. He wants this, all of this, to be real.

“Yeah, nothing says romance like Star Wars,” Alex says sarcastically. “God, I’ve seen this movie so many times.”

“I actually don’t know if I’ve ever seen it all the way through.”

Alex pulls the popcorn bowl away. Stares at Michael. “What? How can you be, like, a person in the world and not have seen Star Wars?” he asks, incredulous.

Michael shrugs. “I dunno. I think I caught bits and pieces over the years, but never, like, sat down to watch it. My dad wasn’t really into sci-fi stuff.”

_Why the hell would I watch this for fun, kid? I’m living it_ , Sanders had grumbled more than once.

“Huh,” Alex says, returning the popcorn bowl to its rightful place. “Well,” he says, clearing his throat, “I have all the movies, if you ever want to watch them.”

Michael looks at him. Tries, tries to figure him out. “Okay,” he says. He glances around the room, pausing when he sees a guitar. “You play?” he asks. “Or was that from the guy who lived here before?”

Alex smiles. “You’ve got a good eye – that’s one of the few things in this room that’s actually mine. I’ve got a keyboard, too,” he says with a little shrug. “It’s something I like. I’m not great or anything, but I enjoy it, when I get the time.”

“It’d be nice to hear you play sometime,” Michael says, almost shy. 

Alex bites his lip. “How about you? You play?”

Michael grins. “I do, actually. Music… god, music is one of the few things that can actually, like calm my mind. Sometimes I feel like I just have so much, in my head, and music helps me get it out, put it in order.” He shrugs. “Or at least distract me. I dunno. Does that make sense?”

“It does to me,” Alex says earnestly.

***

“I mean, I definitely know the theme song. I think our high school band played it, even,” Michael says as the credits roll.

“It’s iconic,” Alex says. “That... that was actually one of the only good traditions my family had. We’d watch the original Star Wars trilogy all together, day after Christmas. It was like the one thing we all agreed on.” He pauses. “Though I don’t know if Dad quite grasped that the Empire was the bad guy.”

“Yikes,” Michael says.

“Yeah.”

They’re silent for a long moment. “Um,” Michael finally says. “It’s pretty late. What were you thinking for me? For tonight?”

Alex blinks. “What?”

“To sleep? Um, couch? Bed?” He pauses. “I, I wasn’t sure where you - ”

“Bed.”

***

_December 20_

_We really need to talk about this_ , Michael thinks as Alex fucks him into the mattress.

***

_Shit, we really do need to talk about this_ , Michael thinks as he sucks Alex off in his shower chair.

***

_We need to, like, have a conversation about what the fuck we’re doing_ , Michael thinks as Alex checks the bacon in the microwave.

***

“You mind if I ask you something?” Alex says as they’re driving back to Albuquerque.

“Shoot,” says Michael, ready to hammer out just how real or not real they actually are.

“Friday night, at the Pony, were... were you serious about Christmas?”

“Like, having you come home with me?”

Alex nods.

“Yeah, I was serious.” He takes a deep breath. “I hope you do. Come home with me.”

Alex looks at him. Smiles. “I think I will.”


	9. There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex head to Truth or Consequences to celebrate Christmas with Sanders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... just as a heads up, we are about to enter the "conflict" phase of this story. There will be some angst, some peril... but as the tags say, there is a happy ending, and we are not too terribly far from it.

_December 24_

“You know, for all I’ve been around the world, I really haven’t seen all that much of New Mexico.” Alex says, looking out the window. “Honestly, I never really thought I’d be back here, but the military had other plans.” He pauses. “You really don’t mind me coming with you? For Christmas?”

“No, of course not,” Michael says quickly. Maybe too quickly. “That, that’s what people do when they care about each other, right?” He swallows. “Home for the holidays, meet the parents, that sort of thing?”

“Right,” Alex says, looking down at his boots. “Yeah, of course. I mean, it definitely helps sell the whole dating thing.”

Michael hates how disappointed he feels, to hear Alex spell it out like that. Because to him... god, this feels so real. After they hooked up at the Pony... and in Alex’s bed, and Alex’s shower... well, Michael was sure they’d crossed some sort of line. He kept waiting for Alex to bring it up on the car ride back to Albuquerque. When that didn’t happen, he waited for a text - maybe an offer to hang out, or hookup. But he didn’t hear anything from Alex until yesterday, when he texted to confirm their travel plans. Alex _had_ said he’d be busy with work, trying to meet a deadline before the holidays. And now, sitting in a car with him for two hours on I-25 South, everything seems... fine.

But Michael wants more than fine. That sex was real, their connection was real, and this desire to bring Alex home, to meet the most important man in his life? That’s real, too, so fucking real.

“You know,” he says quietly, “I’ve never brought a boyfriend home before.”

Alex whirls around to face him. “What?” he asks sharply. “Shit, Michael, your dad... he knows about you, right?”

Michael frowns.

“About you being bi?”

“Oh god, yes, _yes_ Alex,” Michael says, and he sees Alex relax. “Jesus, yes. He’s known since high school. Shit,” he says, running his hand through his hair, “I wouldn’t just have you walk in unprepared to something like that.”

“Good,” Alex says quickly. “So the whole ‘not bringing guys home’ thing is...”

“Definitely a ‘me’ thing, not a ‘Sanders’ thing,” Michael clarifies. “And it’s not just guys. Since I left here to go to college, I think I’ve only brought one girlfriend out here. It didn’t go well.” He glances at Alex. “People can be judgmental. _She_ was judgmental. I think we broke up on the car ride back and I just...” He shrugs. “I’m busy, right? Grad school keeps me busy. And I don’t, don’t want to open this part of my life up to just anybody. Sanders is, well, he’s rough around the edges, but he’s… he’s special to me. I have no idea where I’d be if he hadn’t taken me in, fought to keep me.”

“That very first night we met,” Alex says, thoughtful, “you told me Isobel and Max were your family, but you didn’t grow up together. You said it was a long story.”

Michael looks at Alex, exhales a long, slow breath. “Yeah. You remember hearing any stories, growing up, about kids found in the desert?”

Alex’s brow furrows.

“You’d have probably been about seven. There were three kids,” he elaborates. “Naked, just wandering around. Trucker found them outside Roswell.”

“Oh my god,” Alex mutters. “I, I do remember this now. I remember my dad going on about it.” His eyes widen. “That was you?”

Michael nods. “Yup. Me, Isobel, and Max. It’s weird, I know,” he says, clearing his throat. “We landed in a group home. Iz and Max were adopted together pretty quickly, but I... lingered. I was really close to just sort of getting kicked around the foster system when Sanders stepped in,” Michael says. “Raised me.”

Michael feels a hand on his knee, turns to face Alex. “I’m glad he did,” Alex says softly.

And it’s moments like this that make Michael think there’s more here. So he takes a chance. Places his hand over Alex’s and squeezes. “Me too,” he says. “Me too.”

And Alex squeezes back. And smiles at him like he understands, and fuck it, Michael wasn’t going to say anything, but he feels like he’s going to burst if he doesn’t. “Um, Alex?” he asks tentatively. 

“Yes?”

“What are we doing?” Michael asks, using one hand to steer while maintaining his contact with Alex with his other hand. “I… I know this started in, like, the craziest way, I know we said it was fake, but…” He takes a breath, gathers his courage. “It doesn’t feel fake to me. Hasn’t for a while now. Definitely didn’t this past weekend, at your place with you.”

Alex is quiet for a long moment, and Michael feels like a fool, bringing this up – especially now, in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico, trapped in a car with his fake fucking boyfriend. He supposes he could turn the car around. Take Alex back to Albuquerque if he wants and then head to Truth or Consequences by himself. Tell everybody the sad tale of his Christmas breakup… 

“Doesn’t feel fake to me either,” Alex finally says, and Michael can’t help but turn to him, wide-eyed.

“Really?”

Alex laughs a little. “Yes, _really_. I… these past few weeks have been the best I’ve had in a long time.” He sighs. “It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“It doesn’t change the fact that my time is Albuquerque is limited. And that’s where you live. And you’ve seen, now, my whole… situation.” His mouth twists a little. “Do… do you really think you’d want that?”

“I think I’d want to try,” Michael says.

***

They’re gathered around Sanders’ cheap foldout card table. The chairs fold up, too - easy enough to stash everything away if the room needed to be used for another purpose. The first time Michael’d had dinner at a classmate’s house and seen an enormous table in a room of its own, he’d been astounded - doubly so when his buddy said that his family never used it. _What a waste,_ Michael had thought.

He feels an odd mixture of self-consciousness and pride, though, here with Alex. He wasn’t lying, earlier in the car - he’s never brought a guy home, hasn’t brought _anyone_ home in years. It feels oddly vulnerable to let Alex see this, the place where he grew up. The _way_ he grew up. And… and after their conversation in the car, Alex isn’t a fake boyfriend anymore. His opinion matters to Michael. Matters a lot.

And then there’s the pride. He looks at the meal in front of him. It’s a simple dish - pasta with a red sauce, with chicken. The chicken’s real, a sliced-up breast - not from a can, like it often was growing up. And Sanders has put the cheese in a little dish with a spoon, instead of leaving it in the green Kraft container. Michael smiles at the idea of Sanders cooking this meal for them, setting the table just so...

“This is really good, Dad,” he says, shoveling in another bite with gusto.

“No need to blow smoke, kid.”

“No, it’s really tasty,” Alex adds. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a home-cooked meal, and this is really hitting the spot.”

Sanders looks down at his napkin, clears his throat. “Well I’m glad you boys are enjoying it.” He takes a bite of his pasta, then looks up. “So, Alex. Where _is_ home for you?”

Alex smiles politely. “I grew up in Roswell.”

Sanders raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I’ve spent some time there myself. What’s your last name, kid? Might have crossed paths with your folks, one time or another.”

Michael feels a little silly, suddenly, for not telling his own father his boyfriends’s last name. Though he supposes that Alex was technically a fake boyfriend until just this afternoon.

“My last name’s Manes.”

Sanders stiffens.

It’s barely noticeable - Alex doesn’t seem to catch it, because he goes on. “So, Alex Manes. Jesse and Mindy are my parents, though they’ve been divorced for years. Dad’s family’s lived there a long time, so you might have heard of my grandfather, Harlan, or maybe Tripp? That was grandpa’s brother. Mom’s family is Diné, so you probably wouldn’t have run into them. Not in Roswell, anyway.”

Sanders has recovered, but his expression is still tight around the mouth. He shakes his head a bit. “Can’t say I’ve heard of ‘em.”

Alex shrugs. “Dad is military.” His mouth twists a little. “All the Manes men were. Good chance they were deployed or something.”

Sanders takes a deep breath, looks between them. “So... how did you boys meet?”

Alex and Michael make eye contact. Grin.

“Do I wanna know? Keep it PG for the old man, okay?”

***

They’ve cleaned up from dinner. Michael’s helped Sanders clear the dishes and break down the table and chairs so there’s room in the trailer to watch television unencumbered.

“Here ya go, Alex,” Sanders says gruffly, handing him the remote. “Make yourself at home.”

Alex accepts the remote and nods his thanks.

“And you,” Sanders says, looking right at Michael. “I know you’re working on those fancy degrees, but I’m gonna need a little help with a car out back.”

Michael frowns a little. It’s dark and late. Whatever it is could surely wait till morning. He’s just opening his mouth when Sanders cocks his head at him and fixes him with a serious look. “Um, sure,” says Michael. “Lemme get my coat and I’ll be right out.”

“Anything I can help with?” asks Alex from his seat on the recliner. “Computers are more my thing, but I know a few car basics.”

“Nah, kid, you just relax. Pick a show for us. I think they’re playing ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ on NBC.”

Sanders waits for Michael to put on his coat and they exit the trailer together.

“So what’s the big emergency with this car?” Michael asks, looking around.

“Keep walkin’, kid,” Sanders says, and his tone chills Michael. They walk a good distance from the trailer, stopping behind a beat-up looking pickup.

Sanders glances back at the trailer, swallows hard. “We need to talk.”

Michael’s stomach drops. “About what?”

“Your new boyfriend.” Sanders seems... worried? “How long you known this guy?”

Michael bites his lip. “A few weeks.”

Sanders eyes narrow. “And you said he approached you?”

Michael nods.

“Shit,” Sanders mutters under his breath.

“What’s going on?” Michael asks, getting more concerned by the second.

Sanders takes a deep breath, exhales it. “I don’t know your boy there from Adam, but I did know his daddy, and he’s bad news. Whole goddamn family is.” He pauses, seems to steel himself for what he’s about to say. “Your boyfriend’s daddy? His granddaddy? They’re the reason we left Roswell.”

“What?!” Michael exclaims, too loud and he knows it. “What?” he asks again, softer this time.

“Harlan Manes. Tripp Manes… They were the ones that came for them.”

And Sanders doesn’t even have to elaborate, because the way he says it, Michael _knows_. 

_Them._ Nora. Louise. Roy.

“No…”

Sanders nods. “And remember how I told you that there were people that were suspicious of you? Sniffing around the group home?”

Michael nods.

“I was talkin’ about Jesse Manes. He was the one doing the sniffing. God only knows what he wanted with you three...” Sanders is looking at the dirt, dark underfoot, shaking his head. “When Isobel and Max went to the Evans, I knew they’d be okay. Evans were good people, with a lotta clout round town. But you... you were on your own, and I couldn’t let him get you the way his daddy got the others.”

“Dad,” Michael says, and his voice sounds so broken. “What are you saying?”

Walt shakes his head. “I’m saying I don’t know your boy in there, Michael. But I hope you do, because this seems like one hell of a coincidence.” He looks at him gravely. “I think we need to act like everything’s just fine, and hell, maybe it is. But, but with you, son... I just don’t want to take chances, you understand.” Sanders grips his shoulder, gives it a squeeze. “Not with you.”

Michael nods solemnly. “I’ll figure this out,” he says, leaning more heavily into Sanders’ touch. “I’m sorry I brought this here, to you.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry, kid,” Sanders says, pulling him into a real, and rare hug. “I’m on wheels here. You say the word and we can be somewhere else in no time at all.” He pauses. “This place was never home,” he says, gesturing to the surrounding junkyard. “You were.”

“Dad,” Michael says, feeling himself start to tear up.

“Come here,” Sanders says, pulling him in even closer. They let it linger, longer than they normally would, shielded as they are by the darkness. When they finally pull apart, Sanders fixes Michael with a serious look. “We should head back,” he says. “Be careful.”

“You too,” Michael says seriously.

As they walk back to the trailer, Michael’s thoughts are racing. The night they met, in the bar, how long had Alex been there? Had to have been a while, to have seen everything with that other guy. Had he been following him, even before that? Was he dressed that way specifically to target Michael? Was… was this all just a trap?

Sanders open the door to the trailer, and Michael half-expects Alex to be, like, pointing a gun at them. Alex _is_ ex-military. Well. _Says_ he’s ex-military. Definitely has served. Definitely knows how to shoot a gun.

Alex looks up as the door opens, still settled on the recliner. Just as Sanders had suggested, “It’s a Wonderful Life” is playing on the television. “Everything okay with the car?” Alex asks, all wide-eyed innocence.

“Yep,” Walt says, clapping Michael on the back. “My boy’s a genius. I save the really tough cases for him.”

Alex smiles at Michael. It’s warm. Convincing. “He’s something, isn’t he?”


	10. Blue Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael tries to hold it together for the Christmas holiday as he tries to reconcile Sanders' new information with the Alex he knows.

“That should do it,” Sanders says, unplugging the pump from the wall.

“Thanks, Dad,” Michael says quickly.

Sanders ducks into his bedroom and pulls out a set of sheets and a faded quilt. “Here ya go,” he says to Michael. “I’ll let you two get it all set up,” he says, gesturing to the now-inflated mattress. “Alex,” he says, clearing his throat, “bathroom’s tucked right between the kitchen and my bedroom in the back, okay?”

Alex nods his understanding. “Thank you again for having me.”

“Course.” He pauses. “I’m gonna hit the hay. I’ll see you boys in the morning.” Looks at Michael. “Take care, alright?”

“Good night, Dad,” Michael says quietly.

Sanders holds his gaze for a moment, gives him a solemn nod.

“Good night,” Alex says with a polite smile.

Sanders looks at him. “Night.” Goes to his room and closes the door.

Michael exhales a little, eyes Alex. If this was just, just two hours ago he’d be looking forward to this, getting Alex alone in bed, maybe trying to sneak in a covert blow job. Now, he’s just willing himself to keep it together, act as normal as possible until he can find out more about who Alex really is and what he’s doing with Michael.

He watches as Alex takes out the fitted sheet and starts stretching it over the blow-up mattress, humming lightly as he does so. Michael thinks it’s a Christmas song. “Lemme help you with that,” Michael says.

“Thanks,” Alex says, flashing him a bright smile. Michael makes himself smile back. “This was your room, growing up?” Alex asks.

Michael gives a tight little nod. “Yup. Obviously space is at a premium here,” he says, “so once I left Sanders converted it to an office, a place to keep some of his tools and paperwork”

“Makes sense,” Alex says as they put on the top sheet, the quilt.

“You want the side closest to the door?” Michael asks.

“Yeah, thanks, there’s a little more clearance there,” Alex says. He brought his crutches with him, and he leans them up against the wall.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” Michael says quickly. Doesn’t want to change in front of Alex tonight, so he brings his sweats, a t-shirt, and a toothbrush with him.

By the time he’s back, Alex has also changed. His prosthesis is off. He gives Michael a light kiss on his way out of the bedroom, and Michael tries not to tense up. He gets into bed quickly, pulls the covers all the way up over his body. Before he knows it, Alex is back.

“Want me to get the light?” Alex asks.

“Sure,” Michael replies.

There’s no curtain on the little window in the room, and that saves them from total darkness. Alex leans his crutches against the wall and climbs into bed, pressing his body against Michael’s. “You feel good,” he whispers, and Michael feels a familiar tug of arousal.

It’s quickly chased away by fear, though. Questioning. Is Alex doing this, all of this, to get to him? Get to Max, Isobel, Walt, even? Maybe he’s still with the military, or some other government agency. Michael swallows hard as he feels Alex’s ass press up against his dick. Shit. Does... fuck, does Alex even like men, or is this some sort of, like, seduction mission?

He thinks back to the times they’ve been together, Alex’s responses. No way, no _fucking_ way could he have been faking all that. But... but maybe that’s why he got chosen for this assignment. And not one of his brothers. What was it he said that very first night, in the bar?

_If you have to lie, you should make it close to the truth. That’s how I was trained, anyway._

“There anything you want tonight?” Alex asks, suggestive note to his voice.

Michael purses his lips. “Um, I’m pretty tired tonight, actually. Maybe, maybe just some sleep?” It’s the first time he’s ever turned Alex down, and he’s wary of how it will be received.

Alex rolls over and gives him a little smile. “Sure. I’m tired too.” He leans in for a kiss. “Good night,” he says. “And thank you. For inviting me. Feels like a real Christmas.”

“You’re welcome,” Michael says.

And then he thinks. Easiest solution to this will be to call Isobel. He dreads the thought of it, having to let her know about what Walt told him. And he hates the idea of her getting into Alex’s head, poking around. But that would solve things, would let them know what Alex knows. _If_ he knows. And, fuck, if he _does_... well, Isobel could help with that, too.

He swallows. Watches as Alex’s breaths become even, as his body relaxes in the moonlight. Could... could Alex really be planning something? Michael closes his eyes to the thoughts that flood him, thoughts of the two of them tangled in Alex’s bedsheets at the cabin, desperate to feel each other.

Sheets.

Shit.

His alien DNA was all over Alex’s sheets, at the cabin. Alex had washed them right away. _Said_ he washed them. But maybe he just bagged them, and they’re off at a lab somewhere. Was that why he didn’t hear from Alex all week? Was he waiting on the results, waiting for his next orders?

He needs to make it through tomorrow. Slap a smile on his face and fake it through Christmas, drive back to Albuquerque, and call Isobel as soon as he’s alone. He can do it.

He thinks of Sanders. Max. Isobel.

He _has_ to do it.

***

_December 25_

Michael reads the card, looks at Sanders. “Dad...” he starts.

“It’s a fair trade, kid. Those boots of yours need resoled, and Clint and I agreed to it already.”

“Fair trade my ass.”

Sanders shrugs. “Done is done. You have other shoes with you?”

“No.”

“No matter. Next time you come down, leave the boots. Not like Clint’s going anywhere.”

“Thank you,” Michael says. “They do need new soles.”

Sanders scoffs a little. “No shit. Merry Christmas, kid.” He exhales. “Now, what did you boys get each other?”

Michael appreciates Walt’s steady presence here, keeping them on track, maintaining this veneer of holiday fun. Michael reaches for the box he’d carefully wrapped for Alex, hands it to him. Alex gives him a similarly sized box.

“Should we just open then at the same time?” Alex asks.

“Sure,” Michael says with a polite smile. He unwraps the gift carefully, opens the little box. Nestled inside is a notebook - leather, and three nice-looking pens.

Alex hasn’t finished opening Michael’s gift yet, and he pauses, points at the gift he’s given Michael. “You, you mentioned having a lot of thoughts in your head. Thought this could be a nice way to get some of those thoughts out.”

God damn him, Michael thinks as he takes in his hopeful, smiling face. God damn this whole fucking situation. Like, no matter how it goes, he’s screwed, right? Either Alex is working for someone and at least _suspects_ Michael’s an alien, or this is all an awful coincidence, and Michael is hours from enacting a plan to invade his mind to figure out the truth. And even if they really were random guys that met in a bar, it still doesn’t change the fact that Alex’s dad is apparently some... alien hunter. From a whole line of alien hunters. The same fucking alien hunters that got his own mother.

Does Alex have a notebook like this one? Has he been keeping notes on Michael?

Michael closes his eyes briefly. “Thank you, Alex,” he says quickly, flashing a smile.

Alex’s own smile falters, just a bit. “Um, I’ll keep opening this,” he says, pulling at the paper. As the present is revealed, he laughs to himself a little. Looks up at Michael.

“You need some personality at that cabin of yours,” Michael says.

Alex reads the script on the new mug. “ _You’ve got a friend in Albuquerque_ ,” he reads. Bites his lip. “More than a friend,” he says shyly.

“Well aren’t you a softie?” Walt says, looking at Michael.

“Wait,” Alex says, looking inside the mug. “Guitar picks?” He looks at them more closely. “Star Wars guitar picks?” He grins. “I love it, Michael, thank you. You definitely have to come and watch the rest of the movies. The original ones, anyway.”

Sanders elbows Michael in the back. “Uh, yeah. That sounds really good.”

Alex looks down at his hands. “I, uh, actually got you something else, too. But you’ll have to come by the cabin to get it.”

“Cabin?” Walt asks.

Alex nods. “Yes. It’s a little north of Roswell.”

“Whereabouts, exactly?”

“Up in the foothills, off of 20.”

“Jesus, kid.” He glances at Michael. “No one to hear you scream, that far out.”

Alex laughs. “Definitely not. I kind of just came into it. Anyway, um, I got Arturo to make a bunch of enchiladas and freeze them for me. Figured I’d give some to you.”

Frozen fucking enchiladas from the Crashdown? That’s… that’s so damn nice. So thoughtful. But now it feels like everything Alex does is a red-level threat.

“Maybe this weekend?” Alex asks, hopeful.

“I’ll have to let you know,” Michael says.

***

Alex is settled in the truck, watching them through the windshield. Michael’s confident he can’t hear them at this distance.

“You gonna be okay?” Sanders asks. “Driving home with him?”

“Yeah,” Michael says. “I’ll be fine. If, if he is actually working for his dad, or the government, he hasn’t tried anything yet. And if he does, well… I have tricks up my sleeve, you know?”

“He might know about your tricks,” Sanders says gravely. “You call me when you get home, boy, okay? Once you’re alone, safe at your place.”

“I will,” Michael promises. 

And suddenly he’s being wrapped in another hug. He’s suddenly grateful that Alex barely knows Sanders, because otherwise this would certainly draw suspicion. “I love you, kid. You be safe, now.”


	11. If the Fates Allow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A near-disaster forces a confession that Michael wasn't ready to make and reveals further information about Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning right up front for this one, everyone - there is a VERY close call in this chapter involving Michael and Alex's truck nearly being involved in a car accident. I realize this can be triggering for folks, so please be aware.
> 
> (Also, I know formatting's a little inconsistent for this chapter. Hoping to fix it later but wanted to get it posted in between Zoom appointments, ha).

“Hey Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Um, is everything okay?”

 _No. Everything is not fucking okay._ “Yeah, why?” he asks, trying to sound casual.

“I don’t know, it’s just…” Alex pauses. “Did something happen between you and your dad?”

“Me and Sanders? When?”

“Last night, maybe?” Alex shakes his head. “I don’t know, maybe I’m way off base here, but it just seemed like things were going… _really_ well. Like, dinner was great, but then after you guys went and worked on that car, I dunno… things just seemed a little off to me.”

Michael shrugs. “Huh. Nothing happened that I can think of.” He hates being a lying asshole about it, sees Alex’s little frown and feels guilty as fuck.

“Okay,” Alex says. The frown deepens. “Um, then, was it something to do with me? Are, are you having second thoughts at all? About us?”

Michael licks his lips. Goes over their interactions in his mind, desperately hoping for Alex’s innocence, his non-involvement with some larger plot…

“Why’d you agree to fake date me?” he blurts.

Alex’s eyes widen. “What?”

Michael shrugs. “I mean, it’s a weird request, right? From a stranger. What made you say yes?”

Alex chews his lip a little. Looks at Michael. “I… I liked you. Thought you were hot, in the bar. And then there was this, like, random connection, with Isobel and Maria, and suddenly you weren’t just a hot guy anymore. You were someone I could actually, like, know.” He looks down. “I didn’t want the bar to be the end.”

It’s a good answer. Fuck, if Alex is lying about this, he deserves a goddamn Oscar. 

“How about you, Michael? Why did you suggest a fake relationship in the first… Oh my god – “

“Shit!”

“Michael!”

Holy fuck. 

Holy, holy fuck. 

There’s a semi, bearing down on them. It’s crossed the center lane. It’s in _their_ lane, heading right toward them and, and… fuck, there’s nowhere to go. No room to swerve away on either side, no fucking _time_ and –

They’re floating.

They float up, off the road. Right over the top of the semi. Michael sees the driver startle awake, sees his eyes go wide as he frantically rights his vehicle and brings it back over the center median. Michael allows his own truck to drop back onto the empty road, roll forward until he can find a gap in the guardrail, a place to pull over.

He’s shaking. Shaking. Just trying to breathe.

“What the fuck…”

He’s fucked.

“What… what the actual _fuck_ …”

He’s fucked. Isobel’s fucked. Max is fucked, Sanders is fucked. Everything he’s ever known or cared about is _fucked._

“Michael, what the fuck just… oh my God!”

It dimly registers with Michael that Alex is yelling now. Seat belt’s off and he’s leaning across the seat, gripping Michael’s arm, turning him toward him.

“Holy shit, Michael, are you hurt? Michael, can, can you hear me? Shit, you’re bleeding… Michael!”

He licks his lips, tastes the coppery tang. He _is_ bleeding. And no wonder. 

He used to practice, sometimes, in the junkyard, with Sanders. Back in high school. They’d make sure there was no one around, that it was dark, and they’d test his limits. 

But he’s never done anything like this before, flown a fucking truck through the air.

“Michael, please say something or, or I’m calling 911.”

Michael shakes off his touch at that. Grips the steering wheel. He can feel the adrenaline still coursing through him. He’s nauseous, shaky. “Are you hurt?” Michael finally asks, quietly.

“No, but I _should_ be. We should be _dead_. But we’re not. Because your truck... your truck...” Alex can’t seem to bring himself to say the words.

Michael knows what he _should_ do, here. He should TK Alex’s phone right out of the front pocket of his too-tight jeans and drive them straight to Isobel’s parents’ house in Roswell, Alex’s protests be damned. But…

Michael turns and stares at Alex. Just looks. Alex looks absolutely shocked. Confused. Concerned.

What he _doesn’t_ look is vindicated. Triumphant. Like his suspicions have just been confirmed. Like he’s bagged his prize.

And Michael makes a choice. God help him, he doesn’t know if it’s the right one, but he makes it anyway.

“My truck flew,” he finishes for Alex.

Alex purses his lips and his eyes go wide, even wider than they already were. “It was you.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Michael closes his eyes for a long moment. Nods.

Alex exhales a long, shuddery breath. Inhales slowly. Exhales again - it’s smoother this time. “Okay,” he says, almost to himself. “Okay.” He begins extending an arm out, and Michael instinctively moves away. Alex immediately withdraws his hand. “Are you hurt?” he asks.

Michael shakes his head.

“Good. That’s good.” Alex looks at Michael, purses his lips. “I wasn’t sure, with the blood...” He clears his throat. “Speaking of, we should probably get you cleaned up. In case someone drives past.”

“Yeah,” Michael says. “That’s a good idea.” He looks at Alex. “There should be some napkins in the glove compartment. Could you give them to me?”

“Of course.”

Michael watches as Alex grabs a fistful of napkins out of the glove box. He also hands Michael his water bottle.

“Thanks,” Michael says. He wets a wad of napkins and rubs at his face until it looks clean in the rear view mirror and the napkins are no longer coming back bloody.

“You okay to drive?” Alex asks, concerned.

“Yeah,” Michael says quickly.

“Okay. Good. Think we should probably get moving. In case that trucker tries to double back.”

Shit. That’s a good point. Michael nods his agreement and puts the truck in drive, feeling relieved that they’re the only ones on the road right now.

It’s silent in the car. Too silent. 

“Michael…” Alex finally says after a long while. “Are… shit Michael, I don’t even know how to ask this. Are you some sort of, like, experiment? Like, like Eleven?”

“What?”

“From _Stranger Things_. I dunno. Like, did you escape from some, some testing facility when you were young? Is that why you were wandering the desert?” 

Alex brow is furrowed, and he’s looking just… totally at a loss. 

“Less _Stranger Things_ , Alex,” Michael finally says with a sigh. “More _Star Wars_.”

Alex mouth hangs open. Snaps shut. He starts doing those breaths again, the long, even inhales and exhales. Michael wonders if he learned them in the military.

The military, shit. Michael thinks again of Sanders’ words, of how scared he looked as he talked about Harlan and Tripp Manes. But in for a penny, in for a pound, right? Michael figures that, if Alex really _has_ been lying to him this whole time, then Michael isn’t telling him anything he doesn’t know.

“The crash was real. 1947,” he says. Takes a deep breath. “Your dad knows it’s real. Your granddad knew, too.”

Alex looks at him sharply. “What?” He’s frowning. “What did you say?” He shakes his head a little. “What the fuck does my father have to do with this?”

Michael glances at him. “You weren’t wrong, earlier. Things _were_ off with me. Last night, after I talked to Sanders outside. He, he told me that your grandfather, Harlan, was the one that caught my mom. After the crash.”

Alex is pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut.

“Told me your dad came around the group home back when I was found. Sanders wanted me far away from him. From Roswell. He, he knew my mother, when he was a little kid. They were close. He was there the night they took her. He protected me.” Michael slumps a little in his seat. “Ever since he told me last night, I’ve been trying to figure out if you’ve been out to get me.”

A pained little sound escapes Alex. “Get you?” he says. “No. _No_.”

Michael eyes him. “So you’re not, like, working for your dad?” Michael bites his lip. “This wasn’t all some, like, big scheme to expose me?” He laughs a little wryly. “I mean, if it was, congratulations.”

Alex’s face looks so hurt. “God, Michael, no. You really thought…?” Alex shakes his head. “No,” he says more firmly. “I’m doing consulting work for a fucking bank right now. I… no.”

They descend into silence again. Michael can feel Alex’s eyes on him. “Thank you,” he says, after a few moments. Michael looks at him, surprised. “You saved my life, back there.”

Michael shrugs. “Saved mine too.”

“Yeah, but…” Alex sighs. “Does anyone else know? About you?”

Michael shakes his head. “Sanders. That’s about it. I’ve been careful.”

Alex nods solemnly. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Michael raises an eyebrow.

They’re nearing Albuquerque at this point. “Am, am I dropping you at your hotel?” Michael asks, unsure. “I, I don’t know where we go, from here.”

Alex stares at him for a long moment, begins to speak. “I’m going to be honest with you, Michael. I… I care about you. I really do. More, I think, than I’ve ever cared about anyone else. From the first time we met in that bar, there was just this… connection between us.”

Michael hears the inflection in Alex’s voice. Frowns. “But…”

Alex swallows. “But this is a lot. I mean. It’s really a lot. It’s a lot, and maybe I’m crazy, but I, I do want to see where this goes. But I need you to give me some time.”

“Time?” Michael shakes his head a little. “Time for you to, to what? Call the feds?” he says, a little meanly.

Alex glares at him. “No. I told you, I’m not talking to anyone about this. I… I just need to get my head straight about this.” He looks at Michael, must see the doubt. “I won’t tell anyone,” he assures him. “I swear to you. I, I wouldn’t compromise you like that. Your safety. If, if you’re right that my dad is involved in this, if you’re on his radar at all… shit, Michael. I know what a monster he is, and I don’t want you anywhere fucking close to that.” He bites his lip. “ _Especially_ you.” He blows out a breath. “But I just… shit, I just need a little time, just a little, to kind of think through this, okay?”

Alex grabs his hand. Squeezes. “I _won’t_ expose you. I promise you that.” He bites his lip. “Please, Michael. If… if any of this was real for you, please give me this?”

And Michael, so help him, agrees. “Okay, Alex,” he says. “Okay.”


	12. A Thrill of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael waits and worries.

Michael puts the car in park in front of the Marriott, watches closely as Alex turns to him. “Um, thank you again. For inviting me to Christmas. And, um, saving my life. And giving me time.” Alex is looking at him intently, and for a moment Michael thinks Alex might lean forward and kiss him. 

Alex breaks their eye contact, runs a hand through his hair. “I meant what I said earlier,” he says quietly. 

“We’ve said a lot of things to each other these past few days,” Michael says pointedly.

“Yeah, well… I meant them. All of them. Okay?” And there’s that look again, the look Michael has seen quite a bit over these past few weeks, the look he has memorized, committed to memory.

“I should go,” Alex says, as if he’s trying to convince himself. He grabs his duffel bag and crutches, opens the door. “I _will_ call you. Okay?”

Michael bites his lip a bit. “Sure, Alex.”

And with that, Alex closes the passenger door.

***

Michael knows what he _should_ do.

He should get a cheap burner phone. Pay cash. Pack up anything of value and leave town. 

Call Isobel and Max. Tell them that Alex _knows._ Tell them what Sanders told Michael. Encourage them to take a trip, make some plans.

Call Sanders. Have him hit the road, meet Michael somewhere remote. They’ve done it before; they can do it again.

Semester doesn’t start until mid-January. No one will miss him. Trail will be cold by then.

But Michael doesn’t do any of that.

Michael goes back to his little apartment and just sits. Sits for a while – probably too long. Tries to go over everything in his mind.

He really, really doesn’t think Alex is part of any larger plot. His reaction to Michael’s powers seemed too genuine, not to mention the intense connection they’d formed prior to that. Of course, he’s only known Alex for a few weeks… but what a few weeks they’ve been, god damn.

So he bides his time. Drinks, maybe more than he should. Visits the lab to do some coding, modeling, data entry – mindless, time-consuming tasks that he finds easier to swallow when there’s no one else around. He cleans his apartment.

He checks in with Sanders and Isobel and tries not to let his anxiety bleed through too much.

It’s harder with Sanders, of course. Sanders, who knows about Alex’s family. Who watched them attack Michael’s family.

And with every day that passes, Michael finds it more and more difficult to believe that Alex has any intention of ever calling him back, let alone seeing him again.

***

_January 1_

Michael sees the caller ID, lunges for the phone.

“Happy New Year,” comes Alex’s familiar voice.

Michael can feel his body reacting. “Hey,” Michael says, trying to sound calm. “Happy New Year.” He clears his throat. “Wasn’t sure I’d hear from you, after everything.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been a hell of a week,” Alex says drily. “I think we need to talk. Um, privately.”

“That makes sense,” Michael agrees. “My apartment work?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “I’m at my cabin right now, but I can be there in a few hours.”

“Sounds good,” Michael says.

***

“Hey Iz. Happy New Year,” Michael says.

“Ugh, Michael, why would you call this early?” Isobel asks. “I mean, yes, Happy New Year, but really? It’s like 9am, and I have consumed nothing but alcohol and carbohydrates for the past week.”

Michael tries to sound casual. “I was just hoping maybe we could get together sometime soon. Sunday brunch, maybe?”

“Sure, Michael.”

“Let’s meet at my place,” he says quickly. He figures that, if things go very south with Alex – south as in he’s been screwed (and not in the good way), at least Isobel will know something has gone awry.

He feels bad for not telling anyone about the accident. He knows it’s a risk – and not just to him. But he _needs_ to see this out, with Alex, before involving anyone else. 

And their abilities.

***

Alex has dark circles under his eyes. Looks like he hasn’t been sleeping well…

Still, still looks hot as fuck, of course, but Michael knows him well enough by now to notice these things, to be concerned about them.

“Come in,” he says hastily, stepping aside to let Alex into his apartment.

“Thanks,” Alex says quickly. His eyes dart around, and he nods to himself.

“You want anything to drink?” Michael asks. “Water, coffee? Um, beer?”

Alex settles himself in a chair and drops his bag next to him. “I’m good for now,” he says. Looks at Michael. “How’ve you been?”

Michael sits down in the chair across from him. “Um, freaking out a little,” he says. “Wondering if maybe you hadn’t changed your mind about everything we talked about.”

Alex looks at him a bit grimly. “My mind is… definitely not changed,” he says. He takes a deep breath. “Not gonna lie, though. That first night, back at the hotel, I may have had a little too much to drink. Processing the fact that I’d had a near brush with death and had fucked an alien?” He quirks an eyebrow. “That was a lot. Even for me.” His expression hardens a bit. “But then… then I started digging. Into what you’d said. About my dad. My grandfather and uncle.”

Michael can feel his heart rate start to pick up. “What?”

“There’s always been… weirdness, there. In our family. Little things. Some of Granddad’s rants just before he died, the way dad wasn’t always where he was supposed to be, the way he’d react to certain jokes or topics…” Alex trails off. “I did some initial investigating from the cabin and turned up some… concerning shit. So then I went to Roswell.”

“You what?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “Decided to surprise my dad with a visit. As expected, it didn’t go well,” he says, grimacing, “but it gave me the chance to follow him. Access his networks. His information. Records.”

Michael swallows around the lump in his throat. “And?”

“And it’s bad, Michael. It’s… it’s really bad.” He bites his lip, gestures to his bag. “It’s all there on an external hard drive. It’s yours. I’ve made two backup copies, too. Brought you a secure laptop to access it.”

“Alex…” Michael starts. “What… what the hell?”

Alex closes his eyes, briefly. “This isn't easy for me to say, Michael, so I’m just gonna say it. When we were in that accident, well, almost-accident, I was terrified. Terrified that I was going to lose one of the best things in my life only weeks after I found it. Seeing you with all that blood... Michael, I cared so much more about almost losing you than I cared about you being an alien. I know that might seem crazy but – “

“It doesn’t,” Michael says quickly. “This connection between us, it’s… it’s fucking cosmic or something. I don’t know,” he says.

“Yeah,” Alex says. “You’ve treated me with more concern than anyone from my actual family ever has. When you told me that my dad was the reason you and your dad left Roswell, well, I knew I had to look into it. One of my brothers has been telling me some alarming stuff about dad’s finances for years now. I just always felt like it wasn’t my problem.” He shakes his head a bit. “Well, it’s definitely my problem, now. It… it’s the entire Earth’s problem, really.”

“Earth?”

“Yeah…” Alex says. “Michael, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there are other aliens here on Earth." Michael looks at him sharply. “They’re… they’re detained. Have been detained. Since 1947." He swallows hard. "And, and in one case, 1948. After a raid on a local farm.”

Michael hears the shocked sound that escapes him. “Oh my god…” he mutters. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, nodding. He looks at Michael carefully. “I, I want to be with you, Michael. For _real_. _And_ I want to help.”

Michael grabs at him, pulls him into a rough embrace. “Yes, Alex,” he gasps, “yes.”


	13. Many Times, Many Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse at Michael, Alex, and their Christmas future.

_December 10_

_Two Years Later_

“Michael?”

Michael turns around. Blinks. “Cassie.”

She smiles at him. “It’s good to see you. I missed you last year!”

Michael nods. “Yeah, had some other obligations. Glad I could make it this year.”

Cassie draws closer. “Are you still in grad school or is that all done now?”

“I dropped out, actually,” Michael says. Cassie’s brow furrows. “Had some stuff come up in my personal life. Family stuff, other… things I had to deal with.”

“Oh,” Cassie says, nodding her understanding. Her red lipstick has left a vivid stain on the rim of her half-empty champagne flute. “Sounds like a lot.”

Michael inhales. “Yeah.”

She’s fully in his personal space, now. “Well if you ever want to talk about it,” she says, looking up at him with wide eyes, “just let me know. I’m here in Albuquerque still. We could get lunch or something.”

“Oh,” Michael says, backing up a step. “Uh, thanks Cassie. But, um, I’m actually living about two hours south of here now, outside Roswell. With my husband,” he says, pointing in Alex’s direction.

Cassie’s mouth tightens. “Husband?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, withdrawing his hand from his pocket, showing his ring – a simple gold band he and Alex had picked out at a cheap strip mall in Las Cruces. “Six months now.” Alex is making his way over. Slips his hand in Michael’s and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Alex,” Michael says. “You remember Cassie? I think you guys met the last time we were at Isobel’s Christmas party.”

“Cassie, yes, I remember,” Alex says warmly, extending a hand. 

Michael watches as Cassie eyes Alex’s matching wedding band. She gives a half-hearted little smile, shakes Alex’s hand, and promptly gulps down the remainder of her champagne. “Well, it’s nice to see you again. Um, congratulations on getting married to Michael.” She looks down at her glass. “I think I’m going to go get another.”

“Take care, Cassie,” Michael calls after her.

Alex raises an eyebrow. “I wonder if she’ll still hit on you again next year?”

“Can you blame her?” Michael asks, accompanying his words with his cockiest grin.

Alex leans in, close enough for Michael to feel his breath on his ear. “Guess I don’t,” Alex whispers, voice low.

“Shit,” Michael says, swallowing hard. He’s trying to think of a dirty response when Isobel slides in between them, casually draping her arms over their shoulders.

“Well hello there,” she says. “Good of you two to come.” She kisses Michael’s cheek, then Alex’s. “I know it’s a long drive. Offer still stands to crash here tonight if you want."

“And have sex all over your guest bedroom?” Michael asks.

“Ew,” Isobel says, face scrunched.

“They’ll do it, too,” comes Maria’s voice. “Let me tell you what they got up to at the Pony…”

Alex’s eyebrows shoot up. “Maria!”

Maria laughs. “Hey, I let you off easy.” She turns to Michael. Smiles. “Does the 26th still work, for Mimi and I to come up to the cabin?” 

Michael nods. “Yeah, Maria. That would be great. We’re trying to spread everybody out so it’s not overwhelming, you know. And I’m sure you and Mimi are busy with…” he considers his words, “everyone else.”

Maria looks at him meaningfully. Nods. “We are. But not too busy to see friends.”

“And family,” Isobel adds, clinking her glass with Maria.

“And family,” Maria repeats, arching an eyebrow and sipping her champagne daintily. “Even the really annoying great-aunts.”

Isobel narrows her eyes and tries to look annoyed, but just ends up laughing. “Kids these days,” she says. She turns to Michael and Alex. “The 27th still work for me and Max?”

“Definitely,” Michael says.

“Good,” Isobel nods. She glances around. “I should really keep mingling, but before you guys leave tonight, I need to give you something. For her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Isobel says. “I think she’ll like it, and I want her to have it before the holidays.”

***

“I can’t believe it was only two years ago that we met,” Michael says as they wind their way down 285 toward the turnoff.

“Feels like fate, honestly,” Alex says, reaching over to rest his hand on Michael’s knee.

“There anything you want to do for Christmas?” Michael asks. “It’s our first one married, after all.”

“Just wanna be with you,” Alex says. 

Michael places his hand over Alex’s. Squeezes. “Oh, you’ll _be_ with me, alright.”

And Alex squeezes right back. Uses his fingers to stroke Michael’s palm. “I better be,” he says.

“Fuck, Alex,” Michael groans. “You think tonight - ?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “Definitely." He pauses. "After.”

“Of course,” Michael says quickly. “After.”

***

It’s not just a cabin anymore. It’s a compound.

There’s the original house, though it’s been extensively renovated. A covered breezeway connects it with the new, smaller structure where Michael and Alex live. And in the back, covered in a fine dusting of snow, are the gardens.

Michael parks the car and they make their way up the ramp to the cabin, pausing to knock on the door.

Sanders opens the door, ushers them in. “You have a fun time at Isobel’s?” he asks them.

“It was nice,” Michael says. “But really nice to be home.”

Michael closes his eyes, reaches out with his mind. _Hi, Mom,_ he says, and he feels a rush of warmth in response. 

_Hello, Michael,_ his mother says, as she gets up from her rocking chair, pulled close to the fire. She crosses to him, embraces him. _It snowed today!_

He smiles at her. _That’s great. I’m glad you got to see it._ Mindful of Sanders and Alex, he clears his throat. “Isobel got something for you.”

“That was kind of her,” Nora says.

“I have it here,” says Alex, holding out a brightly wrapped package.

“Lovely,” murmurs Nora, fingering the patterned paper, the satiny bow. ”It seems almost too pretty to open!” she says, and Sanders laughs fondly. Michael watches as she slides shaky fingers in the seam of the wrapping paper.

“Oh!” Nora exclaims as she pulls the paper away. “A record!”

Sanders’ eyes widen. “ _A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra_ ,” he reads. “Oh, Miss Nora,” he says, “I think you’re gonna take a liking to this one.”

“Put it on for me, please, Walt?”

Sanders gently takes it from her. “Of course.” As Sanders sets up the record player, Michael, Alex, and Nora all settle on the couch, with Michael in the middle. He feels his mother lean against him as the first song starts.

_Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…_

At some point, she takes his hand, begins tapping her toe to the beat. _I like the bells,_ she says.

_Me too,_ says Michael.

The next song is slower-paced. Michael takes a deep, even breath as Frank Sinatra’s distinctive voice fills the cabin.

_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping at your nose…_

Sanders clears his throat, comes closer. “Care for a dance, Miss Nora?”

“Always,” she says, eyes shining.

Sanders extends a hand, helps her up off the couch. Michael watches them sway together in the light of the fire.

He never thought he’d have this. A mother. A father. A… a husband. All together in a home. _His_ home. Their home.

He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand and blows out a shaky breath, suddenly overwhelmed by the tenderness of it, the love. He feels a steadying hand on his knee and looks at Alex. 

“Dance with me, Michael?”

Michael closes his eyes.

He can feel his mother’s contentment through their bond, so different from the fear and pain that was there a year ago.

He can see the affection in Sanders’ eyes as he and Nora move slowly around the room, the rough junkyard edges softened by the gift of a connection that had been lost for decades.

And he can see the love on Alex’s face - the sincerity, the warmth, the care. And he wonders how he could have ever doubted this man, doubted whether this was real, between them.

Michael opens his eyes and takes Alex’s hand.

“Always.”

_And so, I’m offering this simple phrase._

_To kids, from one to ninety-two._

_Although it’s been said many times, many ways_

_“Merry Christmas!”_

_Merry Christmas to you!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for accompanying me on this journey. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read this story. And I am especially thankful that prouvaireafterdark planted the seed that grew into this story. What a hard year for so many of us - I hope that this brought some brightness to all of you these past few weeks.
> 
> All the best,  
> A.E.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come say hello on Tumblr (aewriting).


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